MY LIFE AS A BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE HAIKU

Brain eating zombie,
Biter, ouch, headache, brains, brains,
Guy, baseball bat, ouch!!!

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I FOUND ZOMBIES IN MY SWIMMING POOL

I found several zombies swimming in my swimming pool,
Their arms were eaten off so their swim style was not cool,
Like dead fish in my fish tank,
They floated to the surface and stank,
But, they were too big to flush down the toilet stool.

PLEASE ZOMBIES, LEAVE MY BRAINS ALONE

Please, zombies leave my brains alone,
It took years of schoolwork to get them grown,
There are not that many there,
That I have any brains to spare,
Besides, my skull is a really rock hard bone,

Addendum:
Biting my skull is so uncouth,
Besides, you might just break a tooth,
You see for you zombies I really care,
So, go get your brain food from elsewhere.

MY ONLINE DATE

Karen was a zombie pain,
Because she bit into my brain,
Maybe she tried to flirt,
But, her bite really hurt,
Finding love online is insane.