THE BAD HUBBY BLUES

My wife said I was a bad hubby, and she gave me the boot,

My wife said, it was my drinking, that was the problem, the root

She took the keys to the car,

I had to walk to the bar,

Where I consumed so many sweet bitters, I didn't give a hoot.

CLOSING TIME

I'm afraid the universe is on it's last call,

Soon the universe will be nothing at all,

It's not yet, even May,

But, what should I say,

I'm ordering my drinks to be extra tall.

THE BRAIN CELL KILLER

Jim cannot tell a tomato from a potato, anymore,

Those brain cells must have died, when he walked into that door,

All the vodka, flavored cherry

That Jim drank, to be merry,

Made his head and guts as well, a very achy soar.

A RAT MIXED HIS WHISKEY AND BEER

A rat mixed his whiskey and beer,
Next day he felt that death was near,
So, he admitted to his wife,
His adultrous second life,
He sobred and had something to fear.