A LAMENT FOR BILLY THE BATTERY

Billy was a battery,
He didn’t last very long,
His very short longevity,
Seems extremely wrong,

Now Billy’s lost and tormented soul,
Is haunting me every night,
His untimely death has taken its toll,
I can’t see with my worthless flashlight.

LITTLE SAGAN WAS A PAGAN WITH A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON

Little Sagan was a pagan who preached out in the woods,
Little Sagan had a dragon to protect his most valuable goods,
Along came three robbers full of dare,
They could rob anyone, they proclaimed everywhere,
But, when the robbers robbed little Sagan
They encountered his fire breathing dragon,
The robbers were each a dunce,
The dragon exhaled only once,
The robbers decided the fire they’d dare,
But, when the smoke cleared the robbers weren’t there.

TERROR ALONG THE FENCELINE

It's terror along the fence line for the barbies got my cloths,

They also ripped away the skin on my thigh, my arm, my nose,

Thus, my mortal wounds have caused my falling,

Soon some saint will come a calling,

Thus, I'll end all mortal woes,

Then, comes the tagging of my toes. 

SANTA'S SALTINE COOKIES

Bob Roy had no time to bake,
Any Christmas cookies for Santa’s sake,
Bob Roy had frosting in a can but, no backers,
So, Bob Roy spread the caned frosting on saltine crackers,

When Santa came down Bob Roy’s wood-stove pipe,
He was covered with soot and had to wipe,
When Santa was done he looked for his traditional eats,
His glass of fresh milk and homemade cookie treats,

Now, Santa had brought Bob Roy something real nice,
It was a homemade jerky maker complete with jerky spice,
Old Santa’s belly needed some food and growled like a bear,
Then Santa found his gift snack but, could not believe what was there,

On the table surrounded with decorations ornate,
Sat many colored saltine crackers on a cookie plate,
Santa was hungry and could not hesitate,
So, all the frosted saltine crackers Santa downed away straight,

The saltines were dry so Santa guzzled down his milk,
Then he wondered what kind of people? What kind of ilk?
Would substitute saltine crackers for cookies anyway?
But, Santa knew he had to get back to his sleigh,

Santa left Bob Roy the jerky maker so Bob Roy would be happy,
Then, up the stove pipe Santa took off feeling kind of sappy,
In exchange for a jerky make complete with jerky maker spice,
Santa got saltine crackers and he thought he itched a bit with lice.