GOURD OF THE EYES

I bought a big gourd for the holidays, it was full of guys,

They were ugly, little gnarly bugs, with great big bulging eyes,

The bugs attacked, and devoured me,

Except in my brain, they raised larvae,

Hoping their baby gnarly bugs, would eat brains and turn out wise. 

THE THRILL OF THE GRILL

I fired up my old rusty gas grill,

Thought for the holiday I'd cook up a thrill,

I cooked burgers and wieners,

For my juveniles and seniors,

And my grilling made everyone ill.