KIMMY CAT GUARDS THE WORLD, FROM EVIL

I created me, a new tin foil hat,

So the government won't know where I sat,

My two year old sister, Sinister,

Is a government minister,

Lucky I'm guarded by Kimmy, my cat.

I LOST MY ELECTION LIMERICK

I lost my election to be mayor of the vill,

If I hadn't voted my vote total would be nill,

Now, I've known my family all my life,

But, they back-stabbed me like my wife, 

I think they voted for my opponent for the thrill.