THE BREWMEISTER BEAST IN MY CRAWLSPACE

In my crawl space there lives a great beast,

He brews his own beer and demands lots of yeast,

But, where my wallet stops,

Is buying pricey hops,

He can make wine with just sugar and yeast. 

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I MADE BEER AND UNCLE DUKE LOST HIS MAYONNAISE

I tried making beer out of mayonnaise,

But it didn't make it past the taste testing phase,

My old uncle, Duke,

He started to puke,

The next day my mind was a haze.