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Saturday, June 23, 2018

MICHIGAN THE MITTEN

While at the kitchen table sitin',
Methinks Michigan is just one big mitten, 
But, there's no fingers to count,
For a five finger discount,
So, I guess you'll get what you're gettin'.  



Friday, June 22, 2018

A LITTLE GORGON LIMERICK II

Little Gorgon turned to stone,
Everyone with a cell phone,
And, Gorgon was bold,
She turned some to gold,
If they ate an ice cream cone.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

GOALS IN THE MIST

Everyone wakes up with the purpose "to do,"
Things done before and things that are new,
And, we all make a list,
Goals in the mist,
But, when counted our achievements are few.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

THE BAKER'S LIMITS

Four cakes are the most that I'll bake in a day,
I can bake twelve dozen donuts before I have to play,
I can knead ten loaves of bread,
Before my arms feel like lead,
And, with eight pastries I've filled up my display. 

Monday, June 18, 2018

THE BULGING DRIVEWAY

My concrete driveway is not at all flat,
In the middle it bulges up fat,
And, the ends are so thin,
About as thick as a pin,
They crumbled with just a foot pat.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

ODE TO THE FOOD CHAIN ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE ROAD

Over there on the far side of the road,
There's a fish, two crawdads, a snake and a toad,
The crawdads are in the fish's belly,
In the toad's guts the fish gets smelly,
And, the toad's in the snake's jaws went the ode.
 

Friday, June 15, 2018

REMEMBERING MOM

Painting, pottery,
Rock garden, lily, iris,
My mom was once here.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

THE TYPEWRITER BLUES LIMERICK

I'd take a typewriter over a computer if I could choose,
A typewriter's a delicate instrument I hated to loose,
But, along came the tech,
So, I said what the heck,
Now, I pine for my typewriter with blues. 

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

A LITTLE GORGON LIMERICK

Little Gorgon turned to stone,
Every singing baritone,
And, every soprano,
Backed up by piano,
Sang like bangs on a xylophone.


Monday, June 11, 2018

THE VENISON MAN

I have venison in my freezer, 
I have venison on my grill,
I've dried venison,
I've canned venison,
I've powdered venison and made a pill,

I eat venison for breakfast,
I eat venison for lunch,
I eat venison for supper,
And, the funny meal called a brunch,

I give venison to my friends,
I give venison to people I hate,
I give venison away at Christmas,
I serve venison on a first date,

My life revolves around venison,
I spend all day hunting deer in the woods,
At night I peruse Lord Tennyson,
Snacking on venison mixed with dry goods.

ROUGH TETHERBALLER

If tether-ball were an Olympic sport,
Then on TV I'd be on report,
For I always win,
I'd kick tall guys in the shin,
The rest? I'd ply them with French port.   

Sunday, June 10, 2018

THE CUTWORM MADE ME EAT ICE CREAM

A cutworm cut off my tomato plants,
And, left the tops to wither and die,
Then, when I saw my dead tomato plants,
I began to cry and cry,

I planted those plants for a reason, 
To have tomatoes for my tomato soup,
Now, I'll have to just eat ice cream,
And, I don't have an ice cream scoop.    

Saturday, June 9, 2018

I MET THE BEARS IN ALASKA

I went to Alaska to meet with the bears,
I stood up beside them for lacking, were chairs,
But, they were up to no good,
They chased me into the wood,
I guess they thought all creatures with meat, were theirs.

Friday, June 8, 2018

GATOR CHOICES

I wanted to retrieve a new red potato,
But, when I lunged downy my hand I drew up an alligator,
Now, the alligator was small,
But, my menu amounts was tall,
So, I changed my menu to chicken/tater.

WHAT I MADE IN POTTERY CLASS

I took a pottery class,
And, potted a 4 lb rockbass,
I glazed him dark green,
And, his glass eyes looked real mean,
If he sells I'll make more fish in mass.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

THE UNEMPLOYED SHEPPARD

There weren't many spots on that leopard,
That made me unemployed as a Sheppard,
For he slew all of my sheep,
Left me nothing to keep,
Just mutton I ate after I peppered. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

GUEST POPULATION CONTROL VIA DINO APPETITE

If you find that among upscale socialites you're not a winner,
Then, invite a tyrannosaur to dinner,
He might traumatize,
But, it would be no surprise,
If your guest population became thinner. 
 

Sunday, June 3, 2018

TIKI TORCH AND THE BEAR

My tiki torch burned down real low,
Until it was just a tiki glow,
But, it made mad a big bear,
For the tiki fouled his clean air,
And bear claws gave my tiki such woe.

Friday, June 1, 2018

MY FISHING LINE GOT CAUGHT UP IN A TREE

My fishing line got caught up in a tree,
I haven't done that since I was two or three,
My dad would retrieve the line with an ax,
But, now I will wane and not wax,
Indeed, A chainsaw works better for me.