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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Sunday, May 31, 2015

I'M GLAD MAY IS OVER

Well, I can't lament the month of May,
I'm just glad the month has gone away,
The kids both got sick,
My wife left me for some chick,
And, my boss gave me a big cut in pay.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

SID THE PRAYING MANTIS

There was a Praying Mantis named Sid,
He stayed most perfectly hid,
When a bug came along,
The bug had sung it's last song,
And, Sid could feed his mom, wife and, kid.

Friday, May 29, 2015

THERE WAS A DUCK NAMED MURKY LIMERICK

There was a duck named Murky,
He sounded like a turkey,
It only stood to reason,
During hunting season,
He was shot for being quirky.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

A FARMER LIED TO HIS CHICKENS LIMERICK

Two little chickens were moved into a dumpling soup,
They were told to stay there while the farmer redecorated their coup,
But, the soup got real hot,
The chickens climbed out of their pot,
Seems the chickens had been left out of the information loop.



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

HENRY AND THE NEW MOON

Henry was a baboon,
He just loved most of all the new moon,
His girlfriend Nancy,
For Hank had a fancy,
They would sit in their tree and just spoon.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

ANOTHER STUPID LIMERERICK ABOUT LIMERICKS

A limerick pie is nothing more,
Than, stringing words together for,
A little fun,
Maybe a pun,
Or, some wisdom at the core.

Monday, May 25, 2015

TODAY IS MEMORIAL DAY

Today is Memorial Day,
So, let's remember those left in the past,
And, thank them in our quiet thoughts,
For legacies they built to last.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

MY KITTY HAD A SQUEAKY TOY

My kitty had a squeaky toy,
Shaped like a mouse it brought great joy,
On the morn of each day,
Squeaky mouse got such play,
By afternoon it would really annoy.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

THE LIGHTNING STRIKE LIMERICK

There came up a lightning storm,
In my country that is the norm,
But, lightning hit me in the head, 
I saw colors green, turquoise and red,
I passed out cold though the lightning was warm.  

Friday, May 22, 2015

TOO MANY SNOWFLAKES FELL ON MY SHACK

Too many snowflakes fell on my shack,
The roof caved in while I slept in the sack,
When it was all done,
I was facing the sun,
So,I rolled over and got nails in my back.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

HILDA BAKED A PIN CHERRY PIE

Hilda baked a pin cherry pie,
She forgot sugar and the tartness makes me cry,
And, if I eat more than one piece,
I fear I'll give up life's lease,
When, my face puckers so tight that I die.

Monday, May 11, 2015

MY SQUIRREL AND THE EAGLE FLEW OFF TOWARD THE LEIGH

My pet squirrel ran up a tree,
For I had trained him to pick the nuts for me,
Then, along came an eagle,
And, he did something illegal,
Grabbing my squirrel and flying off toward the leigh.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

A DRAGON NAMED BILL

There was a dragon named Bill,
His roar would give all a chill,
But, when he would tire,
He’d loose all his fire,
Then he’d stand there perfectly still.

Friday, May 8, 2015

MY CANTANKEROUS BAT

I have a cantankerous bat,
He thinks he's special but, he just ain't all that,
He gave me a chronic case of scabies,
With an acute case of rabies,
And, he pees on my good stocking hat.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

DEER, JAIL AND, MUSHROONS

I shot a deer that was too small,
But, the arresting officer, he stood tall,
Now, after six months in jail,
I'll get out my mushroom pail,
And, search for the elusive puffball.


Monday, May 4, 2015

SEAGULLS HAIKU

Seagulls, garbage sacks,

Rip, Tear, Pick, Peck, wind, big mess,

Labor, hours, BIRDS!!!



Sunday, May 3, 2015

FROM: THE LIVING BAIT FISHERMAN

Minnow bucket full,
Too many, no breath, tragedy,
Error, no live bait.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

I'D TILL THE PLACE UNDER IF MY TILLER HAD TINES

May is the month to rake needles from the pines,
In May my lawn fills with gross dandelions,
In May my garden fills with weeds,
When I plant the birds eat the seeds,
I'd till the place under if my tiller had tines.

THE COMPUTER SCREEN HAIKU

Computer screen bright,
Eyes dry,red,hard to read screen,
Read screen,now nap time.

Friday, May 1, 2015

MY SICK FLOWER LIMERICK

My flower was looking real sick,
I think it was bit by a tick,
But, it was not of high station,
Like a rose or carnation,
So, I just gave my sick flower a pick.