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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Thursday, March 31, 2011

THERE WAS A MONSTER FROM MARS

There was a monster from mars,
He liked fancy beer and fast cars,
He was driving too fast,
His luck did not last,
Now the monster sits behind bars.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

THE NORTHERN MICHIGAN WIDOW MAKER

In Northern Michigan there is a soul taker,
It is commonly known as the old widow maker,
It falls down from the tall trees,
It brings it's victims to their knees,
Making rich the Michigan undertaker.

THE THREE HARPIES LIMERICKS

Three Harpies sat up in a tree,
Waiting still there just for me,
They were very rude,
They stole my barbequed food,
Now when I barbeque they won’t let me be.

The three Harpies should go away I wish,
They won’t leave me in peace to catch a fish,
When my bobber goes down in the lake,
Off my hook they take,
The food I need for my dinner dish.

Three Harpies got into my refrigerator today,
They ate all my food and din't offer to pay,
I now have nothing to eat,
My bankbook is deplete,
I wish those Harpies would  just go away.







Friday, March 25, 2011

GOVERNOR SNEAKERS: THE 2012 FORESHADOWING LIMERICK

Governor Sneakers liked a good bribe,
He ran for Governor to enrich his own tribe,
He worked for only the elite,
He talked up any deceit,
And, running for President he feels a good vibe.




SPRING FOG RISES HAIKU

The spring fog rises,
Glowing white drifts over snow,
Snow melts,dirt rises.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A NASTY WARLOCK NAMED JOE

There was a really nasty warlock named Joe,
He cast nasty spells wherever he’d go,
He made the Easter Bunny eat all his eggs,
He took away the centipedes legs,
At the equator he changed rain into snow.



PETE THE MICHIGAN WATER BUG LIMERICKS

Old Pete was a Michigan water bug,
He didn’t swim fast but, went chug, chug, chug,
He didn’t have any job where he had to be,
He could swim slowly ’cause he was free,
Just like his land friend Andy the Slug.

Pete the water bug swam out to sea,
He decided Michigan was no place to be,
Taxes were too high,
Benefits were cut to die,
Pete was eaten by an ocean fishy.
 





Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A GIRL NAMED PAM

I was in love with a girl named Pam,
She ran off with a farmer named Sam,
They have a pig farm,
The smell is a charm,
They've grown fat on their bacon and ham.

When Pam ran off I was a quitter,
I got better by being real bitter,
I donate my blood,
And get wasted on Bud,
And spend most of my time on the Twitter.

Monday, March 21, 2011

SIS THE WEASEL LIMERICK

There once was a mean weasel named Sis,
If you came near she would start to hiss,
When Sis was a wee babe,
She was bit by brother Gabe,
Sis was a weasel that no one dared kiss.



Sunday, March 20, 2011

FISHING ON ICE ISLAND

I went ice fishing one sunny spring day,
I walked out on the ice on the bay,
But, when I turned around,
I was deep water bound,
My ice island and I floated away.

Friday, March 18, 2011

THERE WAS A BIG MAN FROM TOLEDO

There was a big man from Toledo,
He liked to wear a black Tuxedo,
But, when he sat down,
He riped it all round
So now he just wears a black speedo.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

THERE WAS A LEPRECHAUN NAMED JANE

There was a leprechaun named Jane,
She moved from Dublin to Southern Spain,
She sold sports cars,
Saved gold in quart jars,
And, made rainbows after each rain.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I KNEW A LEPRECHAUN NAMED SARAH

I knew a leprechaun named Sarah,
She lived in the attic of her aunt Clara,
Oatmeal cookies she sold,
Made a big pot of gold,
So, she bought a diamond tiara .

Monday, March 14, 2011

THERE WAS A LEPRECHAUN NAMED SAM

There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I KNEW A LEPRECHAUN NAMED JAKE

I knew a leprechaun named Jake,
He only ate banana cake,
If the cake looked nice,
He’d pay any price,
Jake should have learned how to bake.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

SOMEONE MIXED TOMATO JUICE WITH THEIR BEER LIMERICK

Someone mixed tomato juice with their beer,
They had to drink it 'cause money was dear,
It tasted just fine,
A bit like red wine,
But, the vomit tasted awfully queer.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A BIG HEAVY FELLOW NAMED CY

There was this big heavy fellow named Cy,
He was a pizza delivery guy,
When he'd wiggle his hips,
He'd get much bigger tips,
But, no one could understand why?

Cy delivered pizza all night long,
To each customer he'd sing a song,
Everyone knew his mind was wrong,
He was only good at playing pong.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

SALLY WAS A BEAUTY QUEEN LIMERICK

Sally was a remarkable beauty queen,
Her skin had the most fantastical sheen,
All men had a lovers brain,
What she was paid was insane,
Her body was nice but, her brain cells were clean.

MARCH/SPRING HAIKU

Thinking Spring, bird tweets,
Winter returns, cold, harsh, storm,
Bird tweets?  Bird goes burr!!!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

COUNTY CORK LIMERICK

I wrote a limerick about County Cork,
It involed eight Irishmen eating pork,
Their wives ate lots of pig,
Then they all danced a jig,
And all watched for an incomming stork.

Friday, March 4, 2011

I WAS WITH A GIRL NAMED IZZY

I was in love with a girl named Izzy,
When I asked her out she was real busy,
I thought I had tarried,
Because Izzy got married,
But, maybe Izzy was just really dizzy.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

A RAINBOW TROUT NAMED NINA

There was a rainbow trout named Nina,
She had a real pretty patina,
We had our first date,
On my dinner plate,
With a dressing called Catalina.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

MS MERTLE AND HER CAREER AMBITIONS

MS Mertle is a toilet installer,
She once was a finish drywaller,
She went to a toilet college,
To gain a great deal of knowledge,
She'd like to be an ice road truck hauler.

JEETER BUILT A WOOD HEATER LIMERICK

There was a man named Mr. Jeeter,
He built a home made wood/coal heater,
It was not well built,
It had a bad tilt,
The fire was a rapid home eater. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A BEAR AND A BIGFOOT PLAYED TETHERBALL

A bear and a Bigfoot played tetherball,
The Bigfoot won because he was so tall,
The bear was a soar loser,
And, sour mash boozer,
The bear swallowed the big foot and all.