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Friday, December 31, 2010

A GREEN MAN'S LAMENT

I use to sell pretty flowers and shrubs,
But, my business was overrun with grubs,
Grub poison is never free,
It was too expensive for me,
So, I burned up the green stuff in tubs.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

SANTA BOUGHT A CHEAP PLASTIC SLEIGH

Santa bought a cheap sleigh made of plastic,
He thought the cost savings were simply fantastic,
But, the sleigh would not steer,
Into trees it would steer,
Santa switched sleighs to do something drastic.

Friday, December 17, 2010

OH CROOKED MIGHTY CHRISTMAS TREE

Oh mighty Christmas tree,
Why did I cut one so tall,
You broke the light in the foyer,
And gouged the walls up in the hall,

Oh mighty Christmas tree,
What a crooked trunk have thee,
I paid fifty bucks you see,
When by looks you should be free,

Oh mighty Christmas tree,
You fell over with a crash,
Now grandma's favorite ornaments,
Are sitting in the trash,

Oh mighty Christmas tree,
Just give me one good reason,
Why I shouldn't throw you out the door?
And have a happy holiday season.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

HANGING CUPBOARDS HAIKU

Hang, kitchen cupboards,
Screws short, unsecured, crash,
Dishes, glass breaking.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

WILLIE AND THE WINTER PARSNIPS

Willie goes out into the snow,
He is buried because of how hard it blow,
But where melting snow drips,
He finds some parsnips,
Now Willie does not want to go.


Willie loves his parsnips,
He digs them from under the snow,
Parsnips are a winter crop,
Or when you’re low on dough.

Friday, December 10, 2010

THERE WAS A RED BRICK NAMED DAVE

There was a red brick named Dave,
Each day he would rant and rave,
He was part of a wall,
That stood eight feet tall,
He wished to be part of the pave.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

JOHN SAW TWO SNOWBALLS FLY AT HIS FACE

John saw two snowballs fly at his face,
He tilted his head and beat them with grace,
Then he bent down,
Saving his crown,
But, was pelted with snowballs on his big base.

Friday, December 3, 2010

THE MEAL OF TEARS

Eddy had no money and felt beat,
He had been unemployed for years,
Eddy was homeless with nothing to eat,
His last meal was of tears,

Eddy was just a lonely dude,
Every one was for himself,
Each fighting for just any food,
Even rat droppings on a shelf,

One day Eddy had an idea so great,
He almost cracked a smile,
He decided not to hesitate,
But, act upon his guile,

Eddy stole a soda pop,
He stood in front of the store,
Soon there arrived a local cop,
He took Eddy out the door,

Now Eddy sleeps in a warm bed,
Each day he eats some food,
His personal blogs are well read,
On self help for the average dude,

Hunger with no place to stay,
They are our greatest fears,
But, when your incarcerated prey,
You'll have no more meals of tears.