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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

THERE ONCE WAS A BIKER NAMED FARLEY

There once was a big biker named Farley,
He liked to ride around on his Harley,
His tire blew out,
He flew all about,
And landed in a big field of barley.


There once was a biker named Farley,
He drank lots of beer made with barley,
He drank it too quick
Then he got sick,
And he could not ride home on his Harley.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I USE TO LIKE TO WASH WITH SOAP

I use to really love to wash with soap,
Then, I'd break out and feel like a dope,
There were more than just dimples,
There were millions of pimples,
I still don't know how that I should cope.

Monday, September 28, 2015

THERE ONCE WAS A POLAR BEAR NAMED LARRY

There was a polar bear named Larry,
He was fat and slow and harry,
He once caught a seal,
But, when it started to squeal,
Larry dropped it because it was scary.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

WENDELL HAD A WOOD STOVE

Wendell installed a wood stove,
It burned down half his house,
He could have lived in the other half,
But, he was kicked out by his spouse,

Wendell lived out on the street,
He was not so very fine,
He lost his shoes and had bare feet,
But, was comforted with wine,

Wendell had it really good,
But, made a really big mistake,
So, if your heat source uses wood,
Install it right for goodness sake.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

I KNEW A LEPRECHAUN NAMED SARAH

I knew a leprechaun named Sarah,
She lived in the attic of her aunt Clara,
Oatmeal cookies she sold,
Made a big pot of gold,
So, she bought a diamond tiara .

Thursday, September 24, 2015

MARTA'S WICKED WHIRLIGIG,

Martha's wicked whirligig,
It was so fast, so big,
It spun way to fast,
Then, went flying at last,
And, made bacon out of Maribel's pig.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

I RAISED THREE PIGS NAMED JASON

I raised three pigs named Jason,
They spent all their time horse-racing.
One day they went bold,
Their houses they sold,
They lost big while their pony was pacing.

The Jason’s were three brash little pigs,
They lived in really comfortable digs,
But, they bet all their money,
On a pony named Sony,
Now, they’re street vendors selling whiskey and cigs.

Monday, September 21, 2015

VICTOR WATCHED THE FIREFLIES LIMERICK

Victor watched the fireflies at night,
He was fascinated by their blinking light,
Victor was not one who thinks,
He just liked those blinky blinks,
Victor was himself not very bright.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

CARL'S HOMEMADE SWEET & SOUR YEAST WINE

Carl's homemade wine tasted like vinegar,
So, he added sugar to the red beast,
It then tasted like really sweet vinegar,
So, Carl added four more packs of yeast,

Now, Carl raves about his red delight,
But, whenever people come over to dine,
They praise the cooking and that said,
Won't touch Carl's sweet & sour yeast tasting wine.  



Thursday, September 3, 2015

THERE ONCE WAS A BOATER NAMED FRANK

There once was a boater named Frank,
He kept running up on the bank,
He once missed the dock,
Slammed into a rock,
Of course then his boat quickly sank.

A boater named Frank went out on the bay,
It thundered and lightning all of the day,
His boat motor got popped,
Into the water it dropped,
Then, Frank paddled home all the way.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

PETER WEETER THE TWEETER

Peter Weeter was a Tweeter,
Tweeting he did very well,
Peter Weeter was no eater,
His bones bulged out so you could tell,

Peter Weeter would not stop tweeting,
He’d rather starve to skin and bone,
Then Peter Weeter’s heart stopped beating,
But, no tweets in heaven, only a phone.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

IT'S THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER

It's the first of September,
It's so cold that I'll remember,
No food in the yard,
And, in the house just some lard,
But, the cockroaches deep-fried are quite tender.