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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

I WENT UP NORTH TO CELEBRATE THE 4TH OF JULY

I went up North to celebrate the 4th of July,
I lay out on the beach and that’s where I lie,
But, the bugs are getting bad,
They bite often, it’s sad,
Now, my skin is burning, smells like a hamburger fry.

TWO LITTLE DEER SAT ON A HILL IN THE WOODS LIMERICK

Two little deer sat on a hill in the woods,
They were watching over their delicious green goods,
There were gardens of beans below,
The deer salivated to go,
Waiting for the gardeners to go back to their hoods.



Brian the bear was big and strong,
His favorite sport was ping pong,
But, no one wanted to play,
They were all scared away,
Though, Brian had done nothing wrong.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

SAM THE LEPRECHAUN LIMERICK

There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I WENT TO MIDLAND MICHIGAN TO VISIT THE TRIDGE LIMERICK

I went to Midland Michigan to visit the Tridge,
But, then I got lost on the three legged bridge,
I just got the quivers,
As I watched below the black rivers,
I ran off to the land on the ridge.



Friday, June 24, 2011

JUNE FIRST QUARTER MOON LIMERICK

In June there was a first quarter moon,
My cell new phone went dead way too soon,
I would not say it was bad luck,
But, I got hit by a truck,
My car looks like a deflated balloon.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I WENT ON A TRIP TO QUEBEC LIMERICK

I went on a trip to Quebec,
Near Detroit my trip went to heck,
The tunnel was closed,
My trip was just hosed,
I got slammed in the trunk in a wreck.

I went on a trip to Quebec,
I thought I was being high tech,
I talked on my phone,
Someone slammed into my chrome,
I went no where: my car was a wreck.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

WATCH FOR THE MONTH CALLED 2012-12 LIMERICK

Watch out for the month called 2012-12,
For most this warning is one they will shelve,
On the 21st of December,
All will then remember,
This warning upon which nobody would delve.



IVAN THE BEAR LIMERICKS

Ivan the bear could barely see,
But, he could smell down wind of thee,
If he headed your way,
You'd better not stay,
Or, in Ivan's belly you'd be.

Friday, June 17, 2011

WATCH OUT FOR FROG MONSTERS IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY

Watch out for frog monsters in Grand Traverse Bay,
They’ll nibble your toes off if you get in their way,
They prefer to eat perch,
Roasted over aged birch,
After an appetizer of the finest pâté.

Watch out for frog monsters when you swim on your back,
The sight of your spine will make frog monsters attack,
They bite with no fear,
Making your eyes really tear,
They won’t break the skin but, will leave your skin blue and black.

Watch out for frog monsters in Grand Traverse Bay,
They’ll pull out the hairs on your chin as you swim,
Splashing does not drive frog monsters away,
They will leave you alone only on their own whim.



LITTLE WIGGINS THE PIG PART II

Little Wiggins was a pig,
Little Wiggins liked to dig,
He tried digging through a concrete floor,
Now Little Wiggins digs no more,
He wore down his hooves now he is soar,
Little Wiggins is a real dumb boar.

THE HENRY TRIED WRINKLE CREAM POEM AND HAIKU

POEM
Henry tried some wrinkle cream,
Upon the button on his belly,
It made his button really red,
Like a lump of raspberry jelly,

Poor Henry, his button is still all wrinkled,
And, the cream had burned him soar,
Now his face was drawn and crinkled,
Because the pain he could bear no more.

HAIKU
Vain Henry, wrinkled,
Belly Button, wrinkle cream,
Ouch, burns, still wrinkled.



Thursday, June 16, 2011

TEACHER, TEACHER ALPHABET SOUP LIMERICKS


Teacher, teacher alphabet soup,
When I sit in class my eye lids droop,
My brain is so soar,
I just want to snore,
It’ll be a lifetime before I recoup.

Teacher, Teacher alphabet soup,
I can’t understand and I’m not a goop,
It would not be so bad,
If I could sleep for a tad,
Or, go out with my buds shooting hoop.

Teacher, teacher, alphabet soup,
I think that I’m coming down with the croup,
School air makes me wheeze,
And, who cut the cheese?
I’ve sit so long I’ve developed a stoop.




JIMMY LIKED TO EAT HIS PASTRY

Jimmy liked to eat his pastry,
Once he ate it way too hasty,
He got a belly ache,
And gaseous outtake,
The burps were not all that tasty.

SHELLY WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES

Shelly was a goody two shoes,
She would not smoke or touch the booze,
But, when she left Randy,
She ate too much candy,
Now, wherever she goes she must ooze.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

PETER THE PASTA POET

Peter was a rare pasta poet,
He rhymed linguini and did not know it,
He once rhymed spaghetti,
With a monster called Yeti,
But, with an audience he would blow it.

Write poetry about pasta and have it rhyme,
Peter tried but he failed almost every time,
He rearraged his words,
Messed up his verbs,
Pasta poetry din't make him a dime.

Monday, June 13, 2011

THE IDES OF JUNE

The ides of June are on day thirteen,
An odd number that is not the average or mean,
Was it just a cheap thrill?
Or drinking wine beyond will,
That made Roman judgment obscene.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

HIDDEN FORCES

There are things that go on in the night,
That makes us move to the nearest light,
We are all afraid,
Of death’s accolade,
That stalks us out of sight.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I HAD A BUG UPON MY TOE LIMERICK

I had a bug upon my toe,
He bit it firm and caused me woe,
I had often been bitten by the mosquito fly,
It made me itch until I thought I'd die,
But, the bug upn my toe laids its eggs to let them grow.

LEPRECHANS NAMED SARAH AND JANE

I knew a leprechaun named Sarah,
She lived in the attic of her aunt Clara,
Oatmeal cookies she sold,
Made a big pot of gold,
So, she bought a diamond tiara .

There was a leprechaun named Jane,
She moved from Dublin to Southern Spain,
She sold sports cars,
Saved gold in quart jars,
And, made rainbows after each rain.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

THERE WAS A BOXER NAMED DUFF

There was a boxer named Duff,
He thought he was really tough,
He took on a dare,
And fist fought a bear,
Now Duff is looking real rough.

Duff was a boxer who thought he was good,
He busted up bricks, he busted up wood,
He fought a crockadile,
They tussled for a while,
The crockadile ate what he could.

Monday, June 6, 2011

THERE WAS A DOBERMAN NAMED SKIMP

There once was a Doberman named Skimp,
He could climb up trees just like a chimp,
He once fell down,
Upon a Greyhound,
Now Skimp climbs up trees with a gimp.

Skimp was a doberman that went to high school,
He excelled at math and could swim,
He was the best at math and made algebra cool,
At swim meets he'd always win.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

JAKE THE BAKING LEPRECHAUN

I knew a leprechaun named Jake,
He only ate banana cake,
If the cake looked nice,
He’d pay any price,
Jake should have learned how to bake.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

THERE WAS A BIG GUY NAMED LARRY-Limerick

There was a big guy named Larry,
With two noses he really looked scary,
So, he had a nose job,
Now with only one knob,
Larry might actually marry.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

NEW MOON ON FIRST OF JUNE WARNING

Never start the month of June,
When you start with a new moon,
Change the calander right away,
You had best move the day,
Or bad things will happen real soon.

SOME POETS LIMERICK

Some poets  everyone knows,
Will latch onto one of their items of prose,
They treat with such care,
Each word that they share,
Their minds are just simplified woes.