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Friday, July 31, 2015

IT'S 2015 AND THE LAST DAY OF JULY

It's 2015 and the last day of July,
I'm mad at the world because I can't kill this fly,
He out flies my flyswatter,
So, my anger grow hotter,
Oh, why can't this fly simply die.

Monday, July 27, 2015

GEORGIA BURNED HER HOUSE DOWN

Georgia burned her house all up,
Because she used a paper cup,
For a cheap ashtray,
A paper cup didn’t pay,
Now she has nowhere to sup.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

ODE TO GRANDMA MABEL

It was great to sit at the dinner table,
Especially, the one set by old Grandma Mabel,
Her entrees were prophetic,
Of the beef roast tasting poetic, 
And, cherry pies most touted in fable.


Sunday, July 19, 2015

I WENT FISHING FOR STEELHEAD THIS SPRING

They were coming up the rivers to bed,
I had one big one take the hook,
On fishing he wrote the book,
He got away, I got wet, enough said.






Friday, July 17, 2015

THE WATER-SKI TRIP

My wife said our water-ski trip was the worst,
I then felt so bad that I thought I would burst,
I said it was sunny,
She said it’s not funny,
Taking her water-skiing on February first.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

UNCLE JOE HAUNTS: A LIMERICK

Uncle Joe went fishing with a knife,
He missed the fish and ended his own life,
Now he haunts in the water,
In the guise of an otter,
With his otter children and wife.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

A VAMPIRE PHASE? A LIMERICK

There once was a vampire named Maze,
She went on a blood sucking craze,
Her mom went to a shrink,
She asked "What do you think?"
He said, "Maze was just in a phase".

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

MABEL THE MUSKRAT STUNK TO HIGH HEAVEN LIMERICK

Mabel the muskrat stunk to high heaven,
She smelled worse than a skunk by seven times seven,
She couldn‘t find any mate,
So, she married really late,
She tied the knot at the old age of eleven.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

TOBIAS WILLIS NICOLAS SHORT

Tobias Willis Nicolas Short,
Was once chief council to the mighty king's court,
But, he engaged the king in intellectual sport,
Then, off to the war front he had to report,

Tobias Willis Nicolas Short,
Led his troops on a charge that he had to abort,
"Coward" they called him back at the fort,
"It was an unattainable win" was Short's own retort,

Tobias Willis Nicolas Short,
Sentenced to die in some foreign port,
Then, shot by some soldiers that gave him escort,
While, Short clutched a picture of his mother Dort. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

A STARFISH NAMED ZEB

There was a young starfish named Zed,
Each evening he wet to bed,
His bed was not dry,
So, poor Zed would cry,
Then, blamed his pet catfish named Ted.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

EACH JULY UPON THE FIRST

Each July upon the first, 
That's when the fireworks begin to burst,
It's just three days away,
From the official firework's display,
And, early booms are definitely the worst.