I SAW A LYNX IN MY BACKYARD

Out my window, I saw a lynx in my backyard,

He ate a goose who was eating my swiss  chard,

I didn't chase the lynx away,

In fact, I hoped he would stay,

He's a goose eater and my garden guard.

I INVENTED ANTI-GRAVITY

Today I invented anti-gravity,

I lost a tooth but, it had a big cavity,

I just drove along and hit ice,

The saucer rotation was nice,

The cliff though, was bad angel depravity. 

I NEED A PIECE OF MINCE MEAT PIE

Wendy baked a massive mince meat pie,

It alerted my sniffer; there was love in my eye,

If I am to prosper and live,

Please, a pie piece to me give,

Or, my will to live will just wither and die.

MY CHOICES OF A FISH FOR SUPPER

What fish do I eat tonight?

My goldfish is hanging with blight,

My swordfish is floating,

In some post mortem coating,

And, my guppy lerches to the right. 

MY SECRET INGREDIENT TO QUICK CAKES

I went to Kentucky to get me some snakes,

The ones that have rattles, the ones used in quick cakes,

I barely walked up a hill,

And, found a rattlesnake kill,

Thick boots, not sandals are what this trip takes.

APRIL FOOL'S AND THE FISH FACED ROBBERS

I saw 4 men dressed as fish get out of a tank,
They loaded their guns and went into a bank,
Then, when they were done looting,
They came out of the bank shooting,
April Fool's, I drove their tank into the lake where it sank.