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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Saturday, February 28, 2015

THE END OF FEBRUARY LIMERICK

The end of February has come at last,
It's ranked in a very low caste,
Not a favorite month that you'd pick,
Unless your mind is real sick,
And, Don't remember warm months in the past.

Friday, February 27, 2015

HECTOR PLAYED THE HARPSICHORD

Hector played the harpsichord,
He did not play well and was ignored,
But, the piano-forte,
He found he could play,
He played so well he was Knighted a lord.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

JENNY THE ASTRONAUT LIMERICK

All Jenny ever wanted was to visit planet Mars,
She had no ambition to seek out distant stars,
But, the space program was shut down,
There would be no planet Mars town,
Now Jenny hangs out in pool halls and bars.



Wednesday, February 25, 2015

DO NOT LEAVE PLASTIC CUP ON TOP OF WOODSTOVE HAIKU

Wood-stove, top, hot iron,
Plastic cup, wood-stove top, melt,
Fire, smoke, fumes, sick..

Monday, February 23, 2015

LITTLE PA MURPHY HAD COWS ON HIS RANGE

Little Pa Murphy had cows on his range,
That had all come down with a bad case of mange,
The steaks were laid bare,
As the cows lost their hair,
The bare cows looked utterly strange.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

A GARDEN WEED IN A SNOW STORM

On my poor little trailer it snowed and it snowed,
Until the roof caved in and the walls outward bowed,
Of course the lights went out,
Rescue was really in doubt,
So, like a garden weed I knew I was hoed.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

THE PROMISE I COULD NOT KEEP

I googled and googled and googled one day,
To find my best bud in high school,
Old lizard lips Clay,
I found him not in a very good way,

Old lizard lips was buried two miles from town,
I got in my rust bucket to go visit the clown,
I found the spot where he took his dirt nap,
With respect I pulled off my Detroit Red Wings cap,

I brought Old Clay a six pack of beer,
Just to let him know his old buddy was here,
I was glad that an old shade tree was very near,
So I sat down for a while and shed one great big tear,

We conversed for a while,
Clay didn’t talk too much,
Before Leaving I promised,
That I’d keep in touch,

That was the last time I visited my high school bud Clay,
I haven’t been back there to visit to this very day,
For I had a bad accident on my way back to town,
They buried me ten miles from that lizard lipped clown.







Friday, February 20, 2015

MY CHIMNEY

My chimney is impossible to clean,
I spent the winter burning wood too green,
It caused a big fire,
Burnt the house down entire,
Now the chimney is the only thing seen.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

SONNY DUG MARS



Old Sonny went to mars to dig in the soil,

Everyone called him a crazy old moil,

But, he found in his ditch,

The stuff that makes all men rich,

His ditch filled up with grade A crude oil.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

DOUGLAS HAD AN OLD VCR

Douglas had an old VCR,
But, he couldn't find anything to play in it,
They no longer put movies on those old wind up tapes,
Instead, they use DVD’s and just spin it.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

I LOVE TO BUY CANDY ON VALENTINE'S DAY

I love to buy candy on Valentine's Day,
I eat it myself and don't give it away,
When calories bring such despair,
It would be selfish to share,
So, I'll unselfishly eat candy and pay.

Friday, February 13, 2015

I'M A LONELY VALENTINE

St. Valentine's day comes up year after year,
But, not once on that date I'm with one who is dear,
But, maybe sometime,
When, I'm long past my prime,
I'll sit not alone with my beer.


Thursday, February 12, 2015

A HICKORY NUT LIMERICK

A hickory nut fell out of a tree,
It bounced off my head and pieced through my knee,
The doctor said well,
You have a thick skull,
But, soft in the knee bone I see.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A PANCAKE GRIDDLE NAMED FRED

There once was a pancake griddle named Fred,
Old Fred made pancakes from breakfast till bed,
Then, real late one spring afternoon,
Fred fell in love with a young batter spoon,
Soon the old griddle and the young spoon were wed.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

A RED BRICK NAMED DAVE

There was a red brick named Dave,
Each day he would rant and rave,
He was part of a wall,
About eight feet tall,
He wished to be part of the pave.

Monday, February 9, 2015

MY EYE PECKING PET CHICKEN GETS FOILED LIMERICK

My pet chicken liked to peck at my eyes,
And, his pecking gave me so many cries,
Now, I give him no passes,
I wear safety glasses,
He's foiled but, he always tries.


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Saturday, February 7, 2015

A LIZZARD NAMED MORGAN MAY-Limerick

There was a lizard named Morgan May,
She did lizard stuff most every day,
She liked to eat mice,
Juicy crickets and lice,
When frightened she would just crawl away.

Friday, February 6, 2015

LYNN THE WALRUS LOVED FISH

Lynn was a walrus, whose taste buds loved fish,
From morning till night eating fish was her wish,
Then, one day she ate steak,
Chicken dipped for a bake,
Now, Lynn just loves to eat any meat dish.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

FEELINGS THE DOG AND BLUE THE CAT

There was a dog named Feelings,
Feelings liked to roll around in the dirt,
His master kept Feelings all penned up,
Because he didn’t want his feelings hurt.

There was a cat named Blue,
He was mean and kind of scary,
Blue would eat only fruit this is true,
Now he looks like a fat blue berry.



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

PATINA THE BIG SPENDER

Patina was a really big spender,
She was a double overdraft offender,
She couldn’t pay her bills,
It gave her the chills,
She tried letting her credit defend her,

Patina spent her money fast,
She lived on credit cards,
Her paychecks never seemed to last,
She had holes in her leotards,

Patina knew she was in real deep trouble,
When she had to move in with her mom and dad,
Then, her folks lost their house in the housing bubble,
Now they all live on the street, so sad,

Patina wished she had changed her ways,
And, not built her life on a house of cards,
She’ll regret it until the end of her days,
Along with not buying new leotards.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

INKY WINKY BUILT A STAR

Inky Winky built a star,
And, worlds would marvel near and far,
But, the star was loaded,
With physics so coded,
Immortals didn't expect the  jar.