ASTRONAUT FLAGELLANT GAS

I was an astronaut who passed flagellant gasses,

Which disturbed the gravitational masses,

So, they sent me out the airlock,

Where the supply ships come to dock,

Where I'll stay until all the disturbance passes.

ODE TO THE 100 ROCKBASS

100 rock bass were on the highway flopping, 

No vehicles showed respect by swerving or stopping,

So, as the fish were smeared over the road,

I composed them an ode,   

In rhythm to the rock bass bladders popping. 

JOHN'S COLORED GUN POWDER COLLECTION

John collected colored gun powder because it was pretty,

He displayed the powder in clear jars to tell guests he was witty,

But, John's chosen display space,

Was over his wood-stove fireplace,

They found John's body but, just a bitty.

MY GROCER, HIGH PRICES AND ME

I went to the grocer but his prices were high,
I said with my small budget those prices wouldn't fly,
The grocer said, "my costs have gone wild,
I built a new mansion that's styled,
My builder gave me a similar reply."

ELECTION GOAL LIMERICK

Most in the press make the wrong assumption,
They think we want government destroyed by revolt and injunction,
But, just listen please,
People want an end to the sleaze,
No revolution, just an end to corruption.