Follow Me On Twitter
Leigh Collin Brandt

Translate

Search This Blog

Friday, October 30, 2015

KINDERBEAN ON HALLOWEEN

Kinderbean was a leprechaun,
Upon Halloweeners he'd prey upon,
If you set down your candy bag,
He'd steal it as a gag,
But, he was caught and now he's a con.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

THE HALLOWEEN GHOST-FISH



I ate for dinner a Halloween ghost-fish,
It had flavor but it had no nutrish,
Although, it tasted like salmon,
It did not ease my famine,
But, my cat still licked clean my fish dish.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

THERE IS A REASON HAIKU

There is a reason,
Born, live, save life, make life, be,
No terms, just worms, see.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

YETI, YETI IN THE WOODS

Yeti, Yeti in the woods,
You broke in my cabin and ate my canned goods,
You are just one evil dude,
Because you stole my favorite food,

I love my tuna from the sea,
I work hard to have it just for me,
I'd gladly give you my musk rat pelt,
If I could have my tuna melt.
,

Monday, October 26, 2015

MY ZOMBIE GIRL

I love my zombie girl so much
I know I must be mad,
But, when my zombie girl is out of touch,
My heart just feels so sad.

I love my zombie girl so much,
I know she does real bad,
But, I love my zombie girl so much,
When I’m with her I am so glad.

I love my zombie girl I do,
I love her if its day or night,
I love my zombie girl I do,
Even when she goes out for a bite,

I love my zombie girl’s big heart,
Even though it does not beat at all,
I understood from the very start,
Eating brains is just nature’s call.


My zombie girl and I are in love,
It won’t be long until we are wed,
Blessed by hell or by heaven above,
We’re the family of the living dead.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

MY BAD ROOMMATES

I used to have some really decent digs,
Then, my roommates moved in and they were pigs,
The bathroom was obscene,
Yet, they still were unclean,
And, from my gin bottle they took constant swigs.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

THE GHOST QUEEN OF HALLOWEEN LIMERICK

Margo was the queen of Halloween ghosts,
She ate candy corn jam on fresh pumpkin toast,
She was a ghost, who grew wider,
Drinking hot apple cider,
She finished off with a marshmallow roast.

Friday, October 23, 2015

A SILLY SUPER HERO LIMERICK

Ironman, Batman and, Superman one day,
Went fishing for perch far out on the bay,
Ironman became rust,
Batman turned to dust,
While Superman slept all the way.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

DRIED UP PENS


I bought a package of pens that wouldn't write,
The ink was dried up real hard and real tight,
I had to use pencils,
To draw in my stencils,
The pencils made an aesthetic blight.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

PHIL THE FARMER-Limerick

Phil the farmer really likes his lunch,
He eats ham and, cheese, and, cherry punch,
His teeth have gone bad,
And, he lost them, so sad,
He can't eat anything that goes crunch.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I BOUGHT LARGER BLUE JEANS

In order to feel thinner I bought larger blue jeans,
I went out to dance at all the popular scenes,
But, when I danced around,
My jeans slipped off to the ground,
I guess humility is something one weans.

Monday, October 19, 2015

THE BLACK BEAR POEM

Yesterday I had a scare,
I ran into a big black bear,
He was 500 lbs of brawny muscle,
I didn't feel so well after our tussle,
But, my bones will mend and my scars will heal,
The best thing of all is I was not a meal.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Saturday, October 17, 2015

WHEN MY REMOTE CONTROL DIED

I happened to drop my remote control,
It sank to the bottom of my goldfish's bowl,
My remote control died,
My goldfish was fried,
After the service I buried them both in a hole.


Friday, October 16, 2015

TERMITES DID A NUMBER ON MY SNOWBOARD LIMERICK

Looking at the snow I did ponder,
That I could snowboard way out yonder,
But, my ponderings were a bust,
Termites made my board dust,
So, all the days of snow I must squander.


Thursday, October 15, 2015

THERE WAS AN OLD BISON NAMED JOE

There was old bison named Joe,
He stepped on farmer Jacks little toe,
Joe said he was sorry,
But, Jack brought round his lorry,
Now off to the market they go.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

THE ROTTEN FIGS LIMERICK

The figs I ate were rotten,
That's why they were cheaply gotten,
So, when at a store,
Don't buy like you're poor,
Or, on the floor you will be vomit blot'en.  


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

BARRY THE VAMPIRE LIKED AN ICE CREAM CONE

Barry the vampire liked an ice cream cone,
But, his allergies gave him a funny skin tone,
He turned really grass green,
Vampires thought him unclean,
Now, he is sucking down blood all alone.

Monday, October 12, 2015

PEABODY SMITH

Peabody Smith sat on a hill,
He was drinking his brandy,
And having a thrill,

Peabody looked out on his city with delight,
Then the mosquitoes swarmed him,
They started to bite,

He threw off his jigger and ran away,
The mosquitoes kept swarming,
They found Peabody next day,

A coroner happened to be handy, 
He said Peabody lost every last drop of blood,
Filling the mosquitoes with brandy.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

WOE UNTO MY ALARM CLOCK

My alarm clock made a horrible tone
It chilled me all the way to the bone,
I found a big rock,
I smashed-up the clock,
But, the tone came from my cellular phone,

Saturday, October 10, 2015

MR. PIB AND HIS TIME MACHINE

Mr. Pib owned a broken time machine,
Only into the future it found it’s scene,
Pib could not go back in time,
So, he aged from his prime,
Pib got revenge with a crowbar and ball-peen.  

Friday, October 9, 2015

TIM AND HIS TREASURE

Tim found a really large treasure,
He hid it again for good measure,
His brother named Steve,
He just loved to thieve,
Would steal it just for the pleasure.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

ALL POTS ARE THE SAME

My coffee maker went to pot,
I bought it cheap to save a lot,
I went back to the store,
Bought one for much more,
I thought it would be better; it’s not.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

THE DRONE MESSAGES

I was sending messages using a drone,
It was cheaper and cooler than maintaining a phone,
It saved really big bucks,
Then, flew over hunters for ducks,
All that's left is the tale and nosecone.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

JENNY AND THE FULL MOON MONSTERS

Jenny went out alone to see the moon,
It was full and round like a big balloon,
But, she forgot to beware,
For, the werewolves were there,
Now, Jenny sings an angelic tune.

Jenny found monsters,
Under the full moon,
They weren't there for play,
They weren't there to spoon,

They ate her that night,
Many locals will say,
Beneath the moon big and bright,
Until the break of the day,

The werewolves scarfed down Jenny's bones,
Then, filled the night with werewolf tones,
No trace of Jenny was amongst the stones,
Except for her purse and two broken cell phones.

Monday, October 5, 2015

THE TWO PETER POEM

Peter I and Peter II were competitive twins,
They also shared both their virtues and their sins,
They both had a penchant for mutton,
Upon which they each were a gluten,
The one that dies the very fattest, I guess wins.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

OCTOBER THE 4TH AND MY ROBOT NAMED DOUG

It's October the fourth and "oh my,"
My robot named Doug went bye, bye,
Doug went completely insane,
Then, he got on a plane,
And, married an old VCR in Hawaii.


Saturday, October 3, 2015

BERT AND THE PAIL ALE

Bert went to pick up a plastic pail,
Bert had been drinking way too much ale,
Bert slipped and he fell,
Now all is not well,
Bert has a badly busted up tail.

Bert liked to keep his ale in a pail,
He bought 40oz bottles when they were on sale,
He'd drink beer like punch,
For breakfast and lunch,
By dinner he'd sing and regale.

Friday, October 2, 2015

ON HALLOWEEN A WITCH FLEW HER BROOM-Limerick

On Halloween a witch flew her broom,
She flew really low and went Zoom!!!
She hit a rock,
It cleaned her clock,
Her broom then blew up and went Boom!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

THE HISTORY OF TRICK OR TREATING

On Halloween this family of ghosts,
Marched in parade from coast to coast,
They munched on candy,
When it is handy,
That's how trick-or-treating started, say most.