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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Thursday, March 31, 2016

THE ALIENS AND THE FRENCH FRY


I saw four circles hovering way, way up in the sky,
I knew they were aliens when they let their heat beams fly,
Bad for me I'm a real looser,
And, therefor not much of a chooser,
I chose to stand there until I became a french fry.  

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I fell off the end of the pier,
I wondered where do I go from here?
If I went down,
I would most likely drown,
And, the shoreline is not at all near. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

I SHOT MY SLINGSHOT STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR

I shot my slingshot straight up into the air,
My shot went way, way, way, way, way, way up there,
The shot fell from up there so far,
Through the windshield of my car,
Now, my slingshot has brought me despair.


Tuesday, March 29, 2016

IGNORING ONLINE VERBAL MEANIES LIMERICK

So many people are bitter,
When they make pronouncements on twitter,
But, Rose tweets all day long,
And, relies on her bong,  
To ignore the verbal meanies who hit her.

MY UNICORN RAN AWAY

I was made so sad today,
For my unicorn ran away,
He didn't like my peasant food,
He said my language was gutter-crude,
And, my crummy farm was just a place he could not stay.


Monday, March 28, 2016

THE RED STRAWBERRY ANTS

I went and planted a strawberry jar,
Full of strawberry plants,
But, when the strawberries were sweet plump and ripe,
I found the strawberries all full of red ants,

My strawberry jar was a real disappoint,
And, so were my strawberry plants,
Now, the ants are running amok in my joint,
And, they bite me neath the cuffs of my pants.


Sunday, March 27, 2016

I'M WITH THE WEIRD AND CRAZY CROWD

So, ye many jeer the weird and crazy,
The slovenly and very lazy, 
But, they are such fun,
I've become one,
In the end we all feed our daisy.

Friday, March 25, 2016

MY BEST FRIEND PARANOIA

Paranoia is my best friend,
It protects me from dangers that lie around every bend,
For round each bend I just know,
The boogeyman's planing me woe,
My friend says "run away to defend."


A PSYCHIC'S PRIDE IN MEDIOCRITY

Misty couldn't spell psychiatry,
So, a psychic she would be,
Her predictions that came true,
Numbered less than a few,
But, she was proud of mediocrity.


Wednesday, March 23, 2016

A RARE-BOURBON OR A BUCK AND A QUARTER FOR BEER

Passionate Pete Porter
Was a rare-bourbon snorter,
But, one day he tried beer,
Then, his new passion was clear,
And, each glass cost just a buck and a quarter.


Tuesday, March 22, 2016

MOLLY MELANCHOLY FOUND A CAREER

Molly was so melancholy,
She went to funerals to feel jolly,
And, at the service where others would mourn,
She'd crack a soda and eat popcorn,

While other girls at night would roam,
Molly spent her nights at the funeral home,
Molly so much loved the death tradition,
Molly studied and became the town mortician.

Monday, March 21, 2016

LEADFOOT PENNY GOT CAUGHT

Penny traveled down the road too fast,
And, became a part of the criminal caste,
So, she got a big fine,
But, Penny didn't whine,
For she violated many times in the past.


Saturday, March 19, 2016

THE ALIEN CREATURE INVADES LIMERICK


I downloaded a really cheap movie feature,
About some crazy invading alien creature,
And, although the story wasn't tight,
Brutal force showed the creature's might,
So, earth's A-bomb was a fitting creature teacher.   

Friday, March 18, 2016

I PLAGIARIZED MY TERM PAPER AND GOT AN F

I got an F on my term paper because I plagiarized,
I copied from a book so I'm not surprised,
I did not use quotes,
Let alone those tedious footnotes,
I guess that's why term papers are so despised.