BARD'S GOT A CONCRETE MUSHROOM SONG

The concrete mushroom in my yard,

Gave inspiration to the local bard,

But, it seems awful wrong,

For a concrete mushroom song,

When finding tasty mushrooms is hard. 

EYE ON SOUSE

When Miller stopped at the Biergarten House,

He tarried there instead of going home to his spouse,

Which made his lonely spouse sob,

Till, she got a biergarten job,

Now, the spouse keeps an eye on her souse.  

PLANT CLOSURES AND THE PURLOINED TOILET PAPER

The plant shut down and Dan was sent out the door,

He purloined some bath tissue to even the score,

But, he was caught with his booty,

And, the police got real shooty,

Now, Dan is worm food and he'll be nothing more. 

THE ROOM IN MY WALLET

There's lots of wiggle room in my wallet,

I'm broke and don't know what else to call it,

But, I'm soon to get pay,

Then, I'll have a good day,

And, I and my friends can go mall it. 

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

Many people believe that their lives are a mess,

To the fairies of failure they kneel to and confess,

Of course, all the silver and gold,

Are success symbols oversold, 

When, food and a warm place to sleep is success

THE PEARL DIVING DOG NAMED SAM

My little dog named Sam,

Diving for pearls he swam,

But, no oysters, no pearls,

Still, he got attention from girls,

"He's my dog," I'd say like a ham.

WINE, BEER AND THE SINUS BAD CHEER

My sinuses are on the decline,

I drank wine which makes them not fine,

But, when I drink beer,

My sinuses are of raw cheer,

So, with alcohol I no longer dine.

UP INTO MY EARS

When my eyes let go some tears,

Before me a tissue box soon appears,
But, the tissue the box wouldn't let go,

And, with a full nose to blow,

An explosion went up into my ears.

THE CHICKEN THAT WOULD NOT FLY

That chicken just won't fly,

It's wings are clipped and it's about to fry,

And, when it's breast is frying done,

I have some mayonnaise on a bun,

Then, under some bacon and tomato it will lie.

MY FEELINGS ON DRINKING SNOW WATER

I drank snow water and it was so cold,

My throat froze and I was not sold,

I want my water hotter,

Save the cold for an otter,

My drink makes me feel I'm too bold.