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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

MARISSA THE TOAD PICKS ON A FAT BEAR

Marissa was a vain and thoughtless young toad,
She was covered with warts as per toad dress code, 
Marissa told a bear he was too fat,
So, he pooped on the toad brat,
Which made Marissa's pretty warts all erode.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

MY GOLDFISH AND THE PIE-HOLE


My goldfish were too big for their bowl,
I didn't have one larger to fulfill the bowl role,
So, I took my goldfish to the lake,
Where I thought they would take,
But, my fish ended up in a bullfrog's pie-hole. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

THE AFTERLIFE LIMERICK

Into the dirt or the fires in death we remorse,
To the worms or the ashes, what is our recourse,
Either a worm feces we become,
Or, an old tin urn we pour from,  
Finally, we return to the piles of our source.

Friday, July 26, 2013

THE FLIES COME HATCHING OUT

The flies come hatching out,

Then,  through my window screen redoubt,

I swing flyswatter with flair,

But, it needs much repair,

My home swarms with flies all about.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A LOGIN LIMERICK

I tried and failed to login,
I couldn't remember my pin,
Then, I typed in my name,
And, up my account came,
I know a simple pin is a sin.

Monday, July 22, 2013

MY BIRDIE RELATIONS

The birdies like on worms to dine,
But, I hang my washing on the line,
So, my washing is speckled,
At work I am heckled,
My birdie relations aren't fine.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

MY NEIGHBOR'S CHICKEN OH GOOD GRIEF LIMERICK

My neighbor's chicken oh good grief,

Got in my chicken and ate my beef,

Although two wrongs don't make right,

My food budget is tight,

So, roast chicken was my chosen relief.

 

Saturday, July 20, 2013

HANK PLAYED U-BOAT IN HIS DINGY

Hank was surprised that his old dingy would float,

He had used it as a barn for his pygmy pet goat,

But, when the Hankster jumped in,

He saw a hole in the tin,

So, Hank ended up playing U-boat.

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

TEN LITTLE MINNOWS: THE NOSE POEM

Ten little minnows nibbled on my toes,

I thought nothing of it until their number rose,

When I went to swim to shore,

There were a million minnows more,

All that made it to the shoreline was my nose.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

YOUR TRAILER, MY FAILURE, YOU LOSE

Well, I have some really bad news,

In your trailer I put in the wrong fuse,

I didn't expect all the fire,

From every electrical wire,

I'm sure the charred rubble you'll want to peruse.




Sunday, July 14, 2013

I WENT TO EGYPT TO DIG UP A MUM

I went to Egypt to dig up a mum,

But, I stayed at a hotel and drank tankards of rum,

So, I let the mum be,

And, watched colored TV,

While chewing on a big wad of gum.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

CHRISTMAS: THE NIGHT BEFORE LIMERICK

It was the night before Christmas and I just found my mouse,

I had searched and I searched all over the house,

I had e-mails to send,

Many relatives to offend,

Then, I spilled eggnog and my keyboard took a douse.

 

Monday, July 8, 2013

THE SKEETER HEATER AND MY DRIED-UP POND LIMERICK

One day the sun was quite the heater,

It even dried-up every skeeter,

But, my pond fish had a need,

For fresh skeeter feed,

No matter, my pond dried-up, every liter.
 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

THE WEDDING CAKE LIMERICK




My cherry-chocolate wedding cake,

Took my aunt three days to make,

The frosting, divine,

Chased down with red wine,

And, the polka band increased intake.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

MY FORTH OF JULY FIREWORKS

My fireworks went-off on the forth of July,

But, it was inside the car and made my mom cry,

No one was hurt,

But, mom was real curt,

And, lectured until us kids heaved a sigh.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

BARRY'S MARCHING BAND LIMERICK

Barry's band marched in a parade down the main street,

But, no one could tell their right from left feet,

They couldn't march in a straight line,

But, sounded just fine,

Even though, the drum major couldn't keep the beat.

Monday, July 1, 2013

KING BENNY AND THE SCURVY DISEASE LIMERICK

Eating meat was the only way that King Benny was pleased,

Now, Benny is all nasty and scurvy diseased,

His servants offered him fruits,

He threw at them his boots,

Now, he feels bad because he is well teased.