Follow Me On Twitter
Leigh Collin Brandt

Translate

Search This Blog

Saturday, March 31, 2012

THERE WAS A TUBER NAMED TAYLOR

There was a young tuber named Taylor,
He fancied himself quite the sailor,
His inner tube got a hole,
Then, he lost his atoll,
He sank while trying to bail her.

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

This little piggy went to sleep,
His girlfriend dumped him and called him a creep,
A second little piggy went all the way home,
His wife gave him an ultimatum and said he couldn't roam,

The third little piggy stayed out all night,
Drinking and carousing and doing what is not right,
The piggy befriended a wolf and they became really tight,
The third little piggy vanished right out of sight,

If you are a little piggy you had best behave,
Or a wolf's stomach will become your nasty grave,
Don't be a creep, a drunk or hang out at the bar,
Stay home with your loved ones and you'll be their bright star.

Friday, March 30, 2012

MY LITTLE CHERRY TREE JUST DIED

My little cherry tree just died,
Although I fondled it and treated it with pride,
Some say it died diseased with scale,
Or from someone’s pee on it's tail,
Homemade  wine on my tree I relied.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

A LIMERICK MADE A BANKER LOOK BAD

A limerick made a banker look bad,
But, the banker got even not mad,
He took the Limerick man’s house,
Bankrupted his spouse,
Now, the Limerick man’s homeless and sad.

Monday, March 26, 2012

PRISCILLA THE FISH FOUND HER LIFE MATE


Priscilla the fish thought she had found her life mate,
She found him on Facebook and thought he was great,
But, when her special person didn’t show,
On their first date in the sea below,
Her feelings were rated devastate.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

I WENT SNOWBOARDING AND RAN OUT OF SNOW


I went snowboarding and ran out of snow,
I then started plunging to the earth far below,
Looks like my snowboard season is done,
I've completely run out of fun,
Coming back next season I don't know.



Tuesday, March 20, 2012

HOW TO MAKE LIMERICK PIE

In order to make limerick pie,
You must kiss a tadpole on the eye,
There’s rhyme but, no reason,
They are for the ear pleasin’
It’s stupid so just don’t ask why?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

THERE ONCE WAS A LIMERICK WRITER NAMED ROY LIMERICK

There once was a limerick writer named Roy,
He thought he was a real limerick boy,
But, the odd topics he chose,
Along with nonsensical prose,
Gave no one any laughter or insight or joy.



Saturday, March 17, 2012

THERE WAS A LEPRECHAUN OUT ON MY STOOP


There was a leprechaun out on my stoop,
The little guy sat all in a droop,
For his gold came up missing,
While a girl he was kissing,
It seems the kiss was just a big dupe.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

THE IDES OF MARCH WITH A NEW MOON

It's the Ides of March with a new moon,
Don't be shived by Brutus the goon,
Caesar wasn't too bright,
His bud wasn't tight,
Caesars luck ran out really soon.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

THE IDES OF MARCH COME ON THE MORROW LIMERICK

The Ides of March come on the morrow,
They bring to us such benign sorrow,
There is no direct threat,
Nor warnings just yet,
We just fear every day called tomorrow.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME AND ME

Today daylight savings time, it starts,
So, the idle can run around in their golf carts,
But, what about me,
I have to get up and can’t see,
I don’t play golf instead, I play darts.



Saturday, March 10, 2012

THE NEW DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME LIMERICK


                                             
                                               There be nothing quite so dangerous and mean,
                                              As when Daylight Savings Time began in 1918,
                                              No one thought it would really matter,
                                              Giving temporal brain cells a scatter,
                                              The changeover is psychologically unclean.

"Senate Sergeant at Arms Charles Higgins turns forward the Ohio Clock for the first Daylight Saving Time, while Senators LOOK ON, SENATE HISTORICA OFFICE1918" Above courtesy U.S. Senate website.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

THE EIGHTH OF MARCH BRINGS US A FULL MOON LIMERICK

The eighth of March brings us a full moon,
I’d look but I’d miss my cartoon,
It’s not I don’t care,
But, it’s Sponge Bob and he’s square,
Priorities set my agenda till noon.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A LIMERICK PIE

A limerick pie is nothing more,
Than, stringing words together for,
A little fun,
Maybe a pun,
Or, some wisdom at the core.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

MARCH IS THE MONTH WHERE WINTER BECOMES SPRING?

March is the month where winter becomes spring?
Wow, somebody's brain has had a bit of denting,
So how is it warm?
When all it does is snow storm,
Please, forgive my sarcastic venting.