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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Saturday, May 26, 2012

THERE ONCE WAS A NATION NAMED ROME

There once was a nation called Rome,
It was far, Far East of our home,
It was an empire,
Then it caught on fire,
It melted like cheap Styrofoam.



Monday, May 21, 2012

WINSTON THE SILVER DIME

Winston was an old silver dime,
He was so lazy it was a crime,
He lay on a book shelf,
Being quietly stealth,
He was found and spent by a mime.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

A PONEY NAMED PENELOPE PIE

There was a pony named Penelope Pie,
Down every race track she would fly,
She was owned by Pap Herbie,
He entered her in the Derby,
When she lost she had a good cry.

Friday, May 18, 2012

HOUSE PAINTING HAIKU

Climb ladder, start paint,
Drop paint can, splash, yellow grass,
Yellow tongued bulldog.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

I BOUGHT SOME STOCK LIMERICKS

I bought some stock and hoped for a pop,
But, I watched the stock price drop, drop, drop,
How could anyone know?
How low it would go,
At least at zero the price fall did stop.

I bought a stock and the price went violently down,
I ended up with a penny though I started with a crown,
The losses were so bleak.
When it is profit that I seek,
I lost my crib and will have to leave town.

I invested in stock and boy was I wrong,
Now I sit on a corner begging food for a song,
The market is bad,
It made me feel really sad,
I should have sold short but, instead I went long.



Wednesday, May 16, 2012

MARK THE BEAVER LIMERICK

There was a big beaver named Mark,
He built damns from morning ‘til dark,
Some days he would wish,
He was just a fish,
Then, he’d just play and swim in the park.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

DRIFTY THE ROBIN

There was a robin named Drifty,
His eyes were real big and shifty,
When Herman the worm,
Decided to Squirm,
Drifty thought his next meal looked nifty.

Drifty liked to head up north,
To spend his summers after the Fourth,
But, when the winter winds blew and blew,
Drifty headed south with his girlfriend Sue.

Monday, May 14, 2012

MY PLASTIC SIDING HAIKU

Wind, Siding,house stripped,
Shredded plastic,neighbor’s yards,
 Mess, insurance? HA!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

THERE ONCE WAS A PEASANT NAMED BILL

There once was a peasant named Bill,
Finding pennies gave him a thrill,
He once found a dime,
But, it was only one time,
Finding pennies was his only skill.



Friday, May 11, 2012

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

LESTER TRAINED TO PLAY THE TRUMPET

Lester was trained to play the trumpet,
He could only play slow and couldn’t hump it,
Only fast music could please,
All the dance party sleaze,
Lester then took his trumpet to dump it.

Monday, May 7, 2012

SIR DIRK THE NOBLE KNIGHT

Sir Dirk was a very noble knight,
Fire breathing Dragons he would fight,
He once shipped off to France,
With a long metal lance,
And the dragons all ran out of sight.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

A MEANER BEAR LIMERICK

A meaner bear I never saw,
Then the one in the woods near Mackinaw,
He attacked my camp site,
Ate my fish in one bite,
Then on my tires he started to gnaw.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

FALLING DOWN HILL LIMERICK

It is perilous to fall on down the hill,
With gravity your captor you haven’t any will,
But, try to take stock,
Don’t hit your head on a rock,
You gain freedom when you stop but not until.



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

THE LIGHT SABER NAMED LARRY


There was a light saber named Larry,
He married a phase blaster named Carrie,
When they had a son,
He was the top gun,
He had a blast and a great laser parry.