Follow Me On Twitter
Leigh Collin Brandt

Translate

Search This Blog

Thursday, September 30, 2010

SHELIA THE COW HAD GAS

Shelia was a big white cow,
She ate up all the grass,
But, when at night she did lie down,
She passed enormous gas.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

ARNIE THE GOLDFISH AND HIS GUARDIAN ANGEL

Arnie the goldfish was sitting in jail,
He was arrested for exposing his tail,
Benny the fisherman liked Arnie a bunch,
He decided to have Arnie the goldfish for lunch,
Benny the fisherman put up Arnie's bail.

Monday, September 20, 2010

WHEN THE GARDEN FROST COMES TOO SOON

When the garden frost comes too soon,
A dirge for my plants is my tune,
If I would harvest too early,
My food would taste squirely,
A jeer to the cold harvest moon.

I tarried at a terrible cost,
My entire garden got the frost,
Dead plants are pepper and bean,
The squash don't look too keen,
The tomatoes will have to be tossed.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

THE VAMPIRE DREAM

They stay out in the dark river valleys,
They do not live but, haunt our dreams,
Of their kills they keep no tallies,
Revenge and bloodlusts are their themes,

What sharpened hooks that bleed our necks,
That takes in life and exhale death,
No mortal signs can craft a hex,
To save our blood and human breath,

The vampires have a certain need,
Though they have immortal powers,
To quench their thirst they make us bleed,
Until eternities sleep is ours.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

MY SAVIOR IS A TWO BY FOUR

My savior is a two by for,
I keep right beside my door,
When a creep comes my way,
I wish him a good day,
If he attacks I give him what for.

A PIG NAMED MORTIE

There was a very big pig named Mortie,
He was depressed because he turned forty,
He ate cottage cheese and cheddar,
The cheese made Mortie feel better,
But, the cheese made his skin all warty.

Mortie was an unhappy pig,
His head was small and his belly big,
He tried to loose weight,
But, fat was his fate,
So, he made his head large with a wig.

Monday, September 6, 2010

WHERE ARE THE SHIPS IN MORTIMER BAY?

There was a pirates cove on Mortimer Bay,
Two pirates ships anchored there one foggy day,
Then, along came Captain Dodger,
Who spied the Jolly Roger,
The Queen's Captain wanted the pirates to pay.

There were three ships in Mortimer Bay,
The largest one sailed away,
The other two had a fight,
Then sank out of sight,
Amongst sand and shellfish they lay.

The large pirate ship on Mortimer Bay,
Ran off from the battle the Bay folks say,
It sailed out to sea,
It was battle free,
But, hit rocks and sank anyway.