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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Friday, November 25, 2011

BIFF THE SNOWMAN WAS KIND OF NUTS


Biff the snowman was kind of nuts they say,
He’d bug people and wouldn’t go away,
If he saw you were busy,
He’d talk you into a big tizzy,
I can hardly wait until it warms up in May.

I BOUGHT A BIGFOOT FOR MY MOM AND DAD POEM

I went to Canada and bought a Bigfoot,
I brought it home for my mom and my dad,
I thought it would keep them company,
But, they said I had done really bad,

The Bigfoot I bought was not house trained,
And, it would not stay in the yard nor the barn,
It broke down the house door and came inside,
Both my parents both screamed “Oh gosh darn!”

The big foot ate all of the stew up,
And, it drank all my dad’s homemade beer,
I guess buying a Bigfoot was a screw-up,
Then, he nibbled on dear old dad’s ear,

Then, my dad started to remember his old dog Frank,
And, how he loved drinking dad’s homemade beer,
The Bigfoot stunk just like his old dog Stank,
Dad proclaimed “the Bigfoot stays right here”,

So, my parents kept the Bigfoot they called Frank,
They seemed to have no more concerns,
It’s good my gift had a number one rank,
Because where I bought it they take no returns.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

OH TURKEY DAY

Oh Turkey Day, Oh Turkey Day,
I think we have a problem,
Though Halloween is far away,
My turkey is haunted by a goblin,

Oh Turkey Day, Oh Turkey Day,
My turkey would not get done,
No matter what the instructions say,
My turkey jumped up for a run,

Oh Turkey Day, Oh Turkey Day,
I guess you shouldn’t cook a live bird,
No matter if fresh turkey is the fad of the day,
The turkey just might have the last word.

I GOT UP EARLY TO EAT A TURKEY FEAST LIMERICK

I got up real  early to eat a turkey feast,
But, it won’t be served til noon, at least,
Oh, what an affair,
I sat down in despair,
I watched the parades while my mom cooked the beast.

Friday, November 18, 2011

SARAH THE LEPRECHAUN

I knew a leprechaun named Sarah,
She lived in the attic of her aunt Clara,
Oatmeal cookies she sold,
Made a big pot of gold,
So, she bought a diamond tiara.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

HOW DICK AND SALLY EAT

Sally was an herbivore,
She ate bark and twigs and leaves,
She tried eating a wild boar,
That gave her stomach heaves,

Her boyfriend Dick really loved to eat,
He ate until his belly was soar,
But, Dick ate no plant food, he only ate meat,
Dick was a raging carnivore,

When Dick and Sally had a son,
Both of their feelings were slightly tore,
They were glad their child was having fun,
But, he was a voracious omnivore.

Monday, November 14, 2011

JAKE THE LEPRECHAUN LIMERICK

I knew a leprechaun named Jake,
He only ate banana cake,
If the cake looked nice,
He’d pay any price,
Jake should have learned how to bake.

Friday, November 11, 2011

JANE THE LEPRECHAUN

There was a leprechaun named Jane,
She moved from Dublin to Southern Spain,
She sold sports cars,
Saved gold in quart jars,
And, made rainbows after each rain.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A COLD FULL MOON IN NOVEMBER

A cold full moon in November,
Much colder than October,September,
Put the camp stuff away,
Summer fun had it's day,
It's not a month to remember.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

BENNY BIGFOOT WENT TO A BAR OWNED BY BEARS LIMERICK

Benny bigfoot went to a bar owned by bears,
They did not want to see him but his roar gave them scares,
After he drank a few brew,
He felt hungry too,
The bear stew was good except for the hairs.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ENDS LIMERICK

Daylight savings time has ended its run,
Getting up so darn early has not been much fun,
Good riddens I say,
To saving some day,
For those that don’t work but have fun.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A LEPRECHAUN NAMED SUE LIMERICK

There was a leprechaun named Sue,
Her hair was red, her eyes were blue,
A man from the city,
Thought she was real pretty,
So, he married her and moved to the Peru.

THE PROBLEM WITH STEVE LIMERICK

The problem with Steve is he didn't have a plan,
When he went out ice fishing way out on Lake Ann,
So, oh what a bummer,
The season was summer,
He couldn't swim a stroke so he ran.

Friday, November 4, 2011

A LEPRECHAUN NAMED SAM LIMERICK

There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

THE ALIEN TRADE AGREEMENT

Crazy Benny went into deep space,
He went there to save the whole human race,
When he met an alien he said "check your shoelace",
Then Benny would spray him with his alien mace,

One day Benny met an alien with eyes all over his head,
Benny ran out of mace then his mind filled with dread,
Then the alien shook hands and said "My name is Fred,
Why do humans have such fear that you all wet to bed?"

Benny and the aliens became friends really fast,
They burried disagreements deep into the past,
Benny signed trade agreements that would clearly last,
In this new galaxy cheap labor numbers were vast,

Big business worships Benny until this very day,
He found them multi-taskers who would work for no pay.

WHEN STEVE OVER USED HIS BRAIN

Steve did not read much,
Read Driver's Ed. booklet,
Brain swelled up, bye Steve.