Follow Me On Twitter
Leigh Collin Brandt

Translate

Search This Blog

Friday, September 30, 2016

UNCLE RUSSEL HAD A CAT

Uncle Russel had a cat,
The cat ate oatmeal from a hat,
The cat liked to share,
With his best friend Bear,
And, Bear was just a sewer rat.


Thursday, September 29, 2016

DRIED BLUEGILL FONDUE

I caught some fish with gills of blue,
I dried and dipped them in fondue,
But, they caused many moans,
Because they were full of bones,
And, their insides were all goo.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

I PLAYED GOLF AND RAN OUT OF GREEN

I played golf and I ran out of green,
7 holes left but no money machine,
They'll be no caddy tip,
My beer tab I must skip,
I must sneak off of the golf course unseen.

Friday, September 16, 2016

IN THE SHALLOWS THERE BE TURTLES

Four little fish were having such fun,
Swimming beneath the bright morning sun,
They swam in the shallows,
Which turned into a gallows,
The turtles ate every single one.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

CONES AND BONES

I sat on top of a tombstone,
While licking my ice cream cone,
The cone came from a odd host,
It was the graveyard's  top ghost,
And, in the cone was his own finger bone.


Wednesday, September 14, 2016

THE MUFFLER (FROM RUST TO DUST)

While in my car I heard the worst darn sound,
When my muffler fell and hit the ground,
My muffler had melted to rust,
And, was now mostly just dust,
At least that's all that I found.


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

A LOG AND A JOG

I went to the park to give it a jog,
And, I slammed into a tree because of the fog,
Now, O.K. I would be,
Not so much for the tree,
It tipped over and is now called a log.


Saturday, September 10, 2016

THE ELF KING OF THE CARS

Wayland the Smith was the king of the elves,
He worked in Detroit making big engine valves,
He got really tired one day,
From his hard work at little pay,
So, he led his elves to make cars for themselves.



DRAGNET FOR MY FISHING POLE

I walked out on the dock and what did I pass?
A giant, a record, an enormous rock bass,
But, my pole was at the cabin, not out on the dock,
I took it to the cabin when I listened to Bach,

So, I ran back to the cabin to look for my pole,
I looked under the chairs and in every floor hole,
But, my fishing pole was not to be found,
I remembered I left it somewhere on the ground,

Alas, I sent the kids out in a fish pole dragnet,
And, one of them found it so expectations were met,
Then, another found my worms so; I knew I was set,
Next, I ran out on the dock to see if my bass was there yet,

Then, just as I saw that big rock bass in the bay,
He heard my running vibrations and swam fast away,
So, I fished off the dock for the rest of the day,
While, minnows tugged on my worm, trying to bait me to play. 

Friday, September 9, 2016

AN EXERCISE THAT MADE ME UNFIT

I was fit as a fiddle until I ran down the street,
I thought I'd get a run in before I went to eat,
But, I tripped over my feet,   
And, by the pavement got beat,
Now, I drink through a straw; what a treat!

Thursday, September 8, 2016

GETTING A CLEAR TV SIGNAL

My cable picture is pixeled,
My dish picture's all haze,                
My antennae big booster,          
Boosted my TV with a blaze,

Now, after all of my trouble,
My house lies out in burnt rubble,
It’s a reality show that my neighbors may gaze.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

THE DEER ATE MY WINTER TRIP TO BARBADOS

I was planning on using my cash earned from potatoes,
To fund my winter trip to Barbados,
Of course my potatoes this year,
Have been ate by the deer,
And, my arthritis  won't let me pick tomatoes.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

FEELING FORTUNATE

Fortunes are many but, my coins are few,
I made some investment but, they were pee-ew,
But, through financial decline,
I still can make and drink wine,
Then, I can few fortunate too.

Monday, September 5, 2016

I DID NOT FRECKLE WELL

I fear my face has been Dr. Jeckeled,
I went to bed with clear skin and woke up all freckled,
And, the great change in my face,
Has my friends on my case,
For all the rest of the day I was heckled.


Sunday, September 4, 2016

MY LITTLE RED BARN IS NO MORE LIMERICK

My little red barn is no more,
The snow on the roof pushed the roof to the floor,
And, as for my cows,
They suffered ouches and oughs,
But, their safe though their homeless and poor.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

HOT APPS AND MY BANJO CAN'T PLAY

My fingers got blown off today,
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.

Friday, September 2, 2016

TRAVELING SNACKS

A canister was full of potato chips,
The chips disappeared across plump salty lips,
Then, a box of doughnuts with a hole,
And, a sticky jelly roll,
Crossed through lips on a journey to the hips.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

THE THING THAT MAKES ME SAD

Watching the sun made my my vision real bad,
Loud music made me deaf and mom mad,
Poor posture my neck ache,
Poor diet made my leg break,
But, it's world news that makes me feel sad.