Follow Me On Twitter
Leigh Collin Brandt

Translate

Search This Blog

Friday, October 31, 2014

THE MEAN MARTIAN FOUND ME ON HALLOWEEN LIMERICK

I decided to hide all night, Halloween,
Witches, vampires, werewolves are just not my seen,
Then, down from the sky,
A martian dropped by,
And, bit me because he was mean.


Friday, October 24, 2014

HUNTING WITHOUT A LICENSE LIMERICK

At hunting camp we hunted for ducks,
But, the license costs really big bucks,
So, what could we loose?
If violating we choose,
Now, we’re in jail and that really sucks.



THE DANGEROUS MALE BLACK WIDOW SPIDER

I met a black widow spider whose name was Herman,
I didn't smack him flat since he bites only vermin,
I petted his head,
He bit me, I'm dead,
My stupid was recalled at my sermon.

Monday, October 20, 2014

BILL RAISES HIS OWN FISHING BAIT LIMERICK AND POEM

Bill found worms between all of his toes,
How they got there nobody knows,
Bill takes a hot shower,
Once each year for an hour,
Then, he trims the hairs hanging down from his nose.

Bill sighted worms down between all of his toes,
He saved them for bait when fishing he goes,
He liked to raise larvae within his large nose,
He'll have plenty of bait when fishing he goes.

THE SWEATY SALMON SAGA

There once was a big red salmon named Strange Betty,
She was the only fish whose under-fins got sweaty,
She tried underarm cream,
Before swimming upstream,
But, she was smelled-out and ate by a Yettie.
 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

HIGHWAY TEXTING AND BRIDGES AND TOADS

Trish would text while driving down the highway,
It seems that she had much she needed to say,
But, while texting friend Midge,
She drove off of a bridge,
Her mobile service was cancelled that day.

Trish liked to text as she drove down the road,
She once swerved her car when glancing a toad,
The toad as O.K.
But, Trish had to pay,
Since, she crashed into an old man's abode.  

Saturday, October 18, 2014

IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME WITH A TREE-LIMERICK

Feeble was my little tree,
That I had cultivated for history,
It was for future generations to see,
Of what really mattered to me,
It died, the dried leaves made my tea.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

BUGS, HUGS AND BIRTHDAY CAKE





Debbie baked a secret birthday cake,
And, she baked the cake with love,
She baked it for her boyfriend Drake,
And, hid it in the attic above,

When the big day came for the birthday boy,
Debbie presented the cake with kisses and hugs,
But, Drake reacted by being coy,
For the cake was crawling with bugs.

Friday, October 3, 2014

RICHIE THE RATTELSNAKE

Richie was a real vicious rattlesnake,
He lived in Michigan near Skegemog Lake,
When Cindy had too much ale,
She stepped on Richie's tail,
Richie bit her and even went to her wake.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

WHAT YOU DON'T DO WITH BLEACH

I went to polish my best table's top,
It was stained with coffee and red soda pop,
I wish someone would teach,
You don't polish with bleach,
Or, at least someone would have yelled at me "STOP!"