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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Friday, August 31, 2012

I KNEW A BANJO PLAYER NAMED CLAY

I knew a banjo player named Clay,
And boy could that hillbilly play,
From Mozart to Bach,
From Bluegrass to rock,
His music had something to say.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

LITTLE WIGGINS THE PIG POEMS

Little Wiggins the pig was not very smart,
He borrowed lots of money to buy a go-cart,
Little Wiggins didn't work,
So, like a real jerk,
He didn't pay for his cart from the start.

Little Wiggins the pig lived on a farm,
Little Wiggins the pig did nobody harm,
But, he ran up some debt,
And, made the farmer upset,
Now, he wears a pigtail as a charm.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

MY PUPPY NAMED DUMPY LIMERICK

There was a puppy named Dumpy,
He got that name because his owner was grumpy,
But, Dumpy had a great disposition,
That got Dumpy an executive position,
The success of Dumpy made his owner real jumpy.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

JOE THE SUNFISH

Joe the sunfish liked to eat lady bugs,
He liked eating worms and not so much slugs,
He liked his girlfriend best,
So they built a big nest,
And raised up a sunfish family with hugs.

Monday, August 20, 2012

A GREEN FROG NAMED TOOTIE Limericks

Tootie is a big green frog,
She eats pizza like a hog,
She tops it with flies ,
With a side of fries,
She's heavy and sinks like a log.

There was a green frog named Tootie,
She thought eating was her duty,
She ate pastries and flies,
Hamburgers and French fries,
She was ate by a snake named Hootie.

Tootie was a frog that lived outside,
She didn't clean up or take any pride,
She was covered with mud,
Guys called her a dud,
She would not change instead she would hide.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

MY ROOMMATE'S GIRLFRIEND DESTROYED THE EARTH

Although this day was very bright and quite sunny,
I did not find the day to end up very nice,
Because my bad roommate who found it profoundly funny,
Informed me he had infected our apartment with insecticide resistant lice,

He said his latest girlfriend,
Who worked as a biogenetics engineer?
Created a creature that would bring about mans end,
It was a louse prototype that the military found queer,

Now, the creature had escaped its military masters,
But, it had not gone all around the planet earth,
Instead, it came home with its developer’s boyfriend,
And, his roommate’s bodily fluids would nurse the lice after birth,

Now here we lie just all a bleeding,
Our bodily fluids the lice are drinking away,
I know my demise to the lice is proceeding,
Like a 2012 Louse Armageddon Day.