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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Sunday, April 30, 2017

TODD BOUGHT A CASTLE LIMERICK






                                         
Todd bought an old castle big and gray,                       But, it was drafty and dirty so, his wife wouldn't stay,   She rode off with the horse,                                         The two got a divorce,                                            Now, Todd has castle parties all night and all day.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

MY PET GATOR

My pet gator is covered with dots,
Yet, I gave him all of his shots,
But, he likes to eat weasels,
And, from them he caught measles,
Now, his poor belly is tied up in knots.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

FIGARO ON A STRING

I had a stuffed Teddy bear with a very long string,
And, when I'd pull it the full Figaro Opera he'd sing,
But, he wasn't all that,
For, he sang a bit flat,
So, I traded him for a fake diamond ring.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

THE BAT AND MY POTATO SKINS

I fried my potato skins in butter and beer,
I did not have too many so each skin was real dear,
But, over flew a big bat,
He dropped guano in my vat,
So, I threw my skins out the door at the rear.

Monday, April 24, 2017

POISED TO BE A WINNER

I am poised to be a winner if, no one else shows up,
I will run the mighty hometown dash and take home the winner's cup,
For although I know I'm slow,
If no one else shows up at go,
I will be attended by my fans tonight at the local brew and sup.


MY DINNER RAN AWAY

My dinner got up and ran away,
I begged that chipmunk but, he wouldn't stay,
So, it's off to the backyard,
To catch some critter off its guard,
Maybe, I'll dig for some worms in the clay.

Monday, April 17, 2017

THE ITCHY BED BUGS

I laid on my bed and started to itch,
The bugs in it started to crawl and twitch,
I got out some spray,
To drive them away,
The bed I had to burn in the ditch.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

JUNIOR THE SKUNK

Junior was a nasty skunk,
He followed me around like a goofy punk,
So, with bacon I would tease,
But, his bite gave me rabies,
If I don’t get to a doctor I fear that I’m sunk.

Junior the skunk feed on mice all the day,
He dug them up from holes where they quietly lay,
When a poor mouse yelled out "eek",
Startled Junior let out  a wreak,
That warned the other mice to scurry away.


Saturday, April 15, 2017

DENISE AND BACON LIMERICKS

There was a girl named Denise,
Her favorite food was bacon grease,
As for the bacon,
She found it chewy and forsaken,
But, the tasty aspects of grease gave her peace.

Denise loved her bacon grease it is true,
She liked to sniff it like model airplane glue,
With her sisters's she'd wage war,
During breakfast and times more,
Denise loved bacon grease rancid or new.


Friday, April 14, 2017

THREE PIGS IN A PICKLE

A giant pickle laid on the ground,
Worms hollowed it out but, the walls were still sound,
Then, three little pigs,
Made the pickle their digs,
With rent being two pence and one pound.