I started a bonfire on Memorial Day,
The forest caught fire and I was blamed right away,
But, I told them I bet,
It was a cigarette,
For I let some lit ones go astray.
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Monday, May 30, 2016
Friday, May 27, 2016
STAR SHIPS, SKYSCRAPERS AND BUILDING CODES
Randy built skyscrapers way up in the sky,
He built them way up where star ships would fly,
But, it really is sad,
How things went so bad,
Randy was ticketed for being too high.
He built them way up where star ships would fly,
But, it really is sad,
How things went so bad,
Randy was ticketed for being too high.
Labels:
BUILDINGS REACHING OUTER SPACE,
CONSTRUCTION CODES,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
SKYSCRAPERS,
STAR SHIPS
Thursday, May 26, 2016
THE TAXES PAST DUE LIMERICK
My taxes are past due,
Now, I'm in deep stew,
And, I'm feeling blue,
There's no one to sue,
My accountant, to the Cayman Islands he flew.
Now, I'm in deep stew,
And, I'm feeling blue,
There's no one to sue,
My accountant, to the Cayman Islands he flew.
Labels:
CAYMAN ISLANDS,
DEEP STEW,
FEELING BLUE,
HUMOR LIMERICK,
TAXES PAST DUE
Sunday, May 22, 2016
I BROKE MY TEABAG
My teabag breaks and spoils my drink,
I don't drink my tea so, all day I couldn't think,
I did try a Coke,
But, the Coke bottle broke,
When it went down the disposal in the sink.
I don't drink my tea so, all day I couldn't think,
I did try a Coke,
But, the Coke bottle broke,
When it went down the disposal in the sink.
Labels:
BAD DAY,
COKE,
DEFECTIVE TEA BAG,
LIMERICK,
SINK DISPOSAL
Friday, May 20, 2016
IT SNOWED AND FROZE MY PICKLE BUDS
It snowed and froze my pickle buds,
Now my pickle blossoms are just cruds,
And, it's so late in the season,
This cold spring is a treason,
I'll feel better when I crack open some suds.
Now my pickle blossoms are just cruds,
And, it's so late in the season,
This cold spring is a treason,
I'll feel better when I crack open some suds.
Labels:
COLD SPRING,
COLDSPELL,
garden humor,
gardening,
LIMERICK,
PICKLES
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
THE MICROWAVE DISH MALFUNCTION
My microwave dish today did not please,
For it melted and mixed with my cheddar cheese,
And, it was without any pleasure,
Disposing of my cheddar treasure,
And, that bright golden cheddar did tease.
For it melted and mixed with my cheddar cheese,
And, it was without any pleasure,
Disposing of my cheddar treasure,
And, that bright golden cheddar did tease.
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
MICROWAVE,
MICROWAVE DISH,
MICROWAVE PROBLEMS,
MICROWAVE SAFE
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
MY PSYCHIC TOLD ME I COULD BE PRESIDENT
My psychic told me I could be president,
So off to the primaries I gleefully went,
But, when I got there,
They made fun of my hair,
I guess my hair didn't quite fit their tent.
So off to the primaries I gleefully went,
But, when I got there,
They made fun of my hair,
I guess my hair didn't quite fit their tent.
Labels:
BIG HAIR,
BIG TENT POLITICAL PARTIES,
HUMOR,
LIMERICKS,
POLITICAL HUMOR,
PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES,
SATIRE
Monday, May 16, 2016
OLD SNOOK CUT DOWN MY APPLE TREE
Old Snook cut down my apple tree,
I told Old Snook to leave it be,
But, Snook needed a thrill,
Because dry was his still,
And, he blamed his lost liquor on me.
I told Old Snook to leave it be,
But, Snook needed a thrill,
Because dry was his still,
And, he blamed his lost liquor on me.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
PICK LOW EXPECTATOINS
It's best to be not very bright,
Or, you'll get calls all day and night,
But, stupid brains they get to rest,
Low expectations,
So, none will pest.
Or, you'll get calls all day and night,
But, stupid brains they get to rest,
Low expectations,
So, none will pest.
Labels:
intelligence,
irony,
lack of,
pest,
rest,
SATIRE,
SILLY RHYME
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
THE FOOD CHAIN IN MY HOME
Although I warned him it was not suppy,
My swordfish ate my baby guppy,
Then, my swordfish just smiled,
He was a pernicious child,
So, I fed my swordfish to my sweet puppy.
My swordfish ate my baby guppy,
Then, my swordfish just smiled,
He was a pernicious child,
So, I fed my swordfish to my sweet puppy.
Monday, May 9, 2016
SPROUT PRIDE AND THE RABBIT
I was proud of my little bean sprouts,
On media I bragged with my touts,
Then, along came a rabbit,
With a bean sprout eating habit,
Now, my touts are all met with real doubts.
On media I bragged with my touts,
Then, along came a rabbit,
With a bean sprout eating habit,
Now, my touts are all met with real doubts.
Labels:
ANIMAL PESTS,
BEAN SPROUTS,
gardening,
HUMOR,
RABBITS,
SOCIAL MEDIA
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
I TIME MACHINED BACK TO THE OLD WEST I
I took my time machine back to the Old West,
Where I heard the living was the best,
But, a scorpion sting,
Made my tenor voice sing,
Then, I fell into a rattlesnake nest.
Where I heard the living was the best,
But, a scorpion sting,
Made my tenor voice sing,
Then, I fell into a rattlesnake nest.
Labels:
HUMOR,
irony,
OLD WEST,
RATTLESNAKES,
SATIRE,
SCORPION STING,
SCORPIONS
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