A rattlesnake was on my deck,
It was really hotter than heck,
He asked me for a beer,
I said I had none here,
He bit me now I am a wreck.
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Monday, June 29, 2015
A RATTLESNAKE WAS ON MY DECK
Labels:
ANIMAL SATIRE,
BEER,
RATTLESNAKES,
SNAKE BITES
Sunday, June 28, 2015
MY MEDS, FEDS AND PRISON BEDS LIMERICK
I forgot to take my meds,
When I made my taxes out for the feds,
Then, the feds got real mean,
Said my statement's unclean,
Now, in prison I'll be making my beds.
When I made my taxes out for the feds,
Then, the feds got real mean,
Said my statement's unclean,
Now, in prison I'll be making my beds.
Labels:
federal taxes,
HUMOR,
income tax,
income tax forms,
LIMERICK,
medications,
mental health,
SATIRE
Thursday, June 25, 2015
A MUSHROOM GAVE ME A "WANTS MORE" ATTACK
I found a mushroom near my shack,
It was growing juicy and black,
It tasted great,
That sealed my fate,
To suffer a "Wants More" attack.
It was growing juicy and black,
It tasted great,
That sealed my fate,
To suffer a "Wants More" attack.
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
mushrooms,
tasty food,
wanting more
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
KAREN THE POPLAR TREE
There was a poplar tree named Karen,
For her looks it was not worth starin',
When the lumberjack came round,
Karen was cut right down,
As firewood Karen is flarin'.
For her looks it was not worth starin',
When the lumberjack came round,
Karen was cut right down,
As firewood Karen is flarin'.
Labels:
FAT HUMOR,
HUMOR LIMERICKS,
TREE LIMERICKS
Saturday, June 20, 2015
THE DANCE FOR ROMANCE LIMERICK
To find someone to share romance,
Bently liked to do a dance,
He did a polka-twist,
With bent Egyptian wrists,
And, finished off with a rooster prance.
Bently liked to do a dance,
He did a polka-twist,
With bent Egyptian wrists,
And, finished off with a rooster prance.
Friday, June 19, 2015
I had a robot I named Wizard,
He was a sentient, eight foot long lizard,
He had a big boil,
Which burst to leak oil,
Which sprayed from his robotic gizzard.
He was a sentient, eight foot long lizard,
He had a big boil,
Which burst to leak oil,
Which sprayed from his robotic gizzard.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
A BROKEN WRISTA FOR A VIEW OF A VISTA
I went out on a ledge to view a beautiful vista,
Then, got shoved off the ledge by my meanie sista,
Well, downward I fell,
Got klonked in the bell,
And, broke my leg, my back and, my wrista.
Then, got shoved off the ledge by my meanie sista,
Well, downward I fell,
Got klonked in the bell,
And, broke my leg, my back and, my wrista.
Labels:
broken back,
broken leg,
broken wrist,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
mean sister
Monday, June 8, 2015
THE FORTUNE COOKIE BLUES
I have the fortune cookie blues,
Because my cookie gave me bad news,
At my upcoming weddin'
There will be Armageddon,
When my in-laws drink too much booze.
Because my cookie gave me bad news,
At my upcoming weddin'
There will be Armageddon,
When my in-laws drink too much booze.
6815
Saturday, June 6, 2015
HAZEL THE POLITE COW
Hazel was a very polite cow,
She would courtesy if the bull would bow,
She would always moo “Hi!”
When strangers walked by,
She was nice in the here and the now.
She would courtesy if the bull would bow,
She would always moo “Hi!”
When strangers walked by,
She was nice in the here and the now.
Labels:
ANIMAL SATIRE,
COW HUMOR,
COW LIMERICK,
COW SATIRE,
POLITE COWS
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