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Leigh Collin Brandt

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Friday, January 31, 2014

WILLY WITH FEW NEEDLES

There was a red pine tree named Willie,
He had few needles and looked silly,
All the other trees,
Did nothing but tease,
The near naked tree nick named Billy.

Willie was a red pine tree,
He grew real tall so he could see,
But, the great sacrifice,
Made things turn out not nice,
Willies needles poored down like a sea.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

THE BIGFOOT AT MY TRAILER DOOR

A Bigfoot knocked on my trailer door,
When I didn’t let him in he gave off a roar,
I made him bacon and eggs,
He still broke my legs,
Those Bigfoots make me real soar.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

THE EX

Contacting my daughter I had to abort,
In case I had to pay back child support,
My ex-wife was such a terrible menace,
She ran off with the man that taught her tennis,
I should not have to pay for his comfort.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

THE BAT

A bat was nesting beneath boards on my porch,
He came out when down went the daylight torch,
He’d eat bugs all the night,
And, then at first light,
He would hide before he could scorch.

A bat had droppings all over my porch boards,
His droppings were many; he ate insects in hoards,
I chased him away,
But, by the end of the day,
He came back and shrieked in hideous chords.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

MY COMPANY MOVED OVER SEAS

My company moved over seas,
Now, I'm broke and down on my knees,
My boss is well fed,
I'm starving and half dead,
I'd eat snot; would someone please sneeze.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

A PSYCHIC NAMED MARGO MABLE

There was a psychic named Margo Mabel,
She would talk to spirits at the kitchen table,
First she would dine,
Then, she’d drink lots of wine,
The wine caused her psychic mind to enable.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

THE MID-MONTH BLUES LIMERICK

Well, it’s the middle of the month again,
And, it seems that I’ll never win,
I have so much to do,
But, can’t see nothing threw,
I hope procrastination is not a sin.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

THE IN-GROWN TOE NAIL

Vic had a toe nail that grew into his toe,
He suffered with pain and all kinds of woe,
He took out a hammer,
Gave a toe a good bammer,
The pain was worse but how could Vic know?

Vic had an in-grown toe nail,
It hurt and Vic gave a big wail,
His pain was so great,
He cancelled his date,
His girlfriend left; what a sad tale.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

THE 2014 LIMERICK

HAPPY NEW YEAR
                     The year 2014 has started,
           And, we remember the dearly departed,
                      If by the end of this year,
                       We're all standing here,
             We'll know that 2014 was kindhearted.