THE MAGIC FROG AND I

I was looking for some big frogs, to cut off their frog hind legs,

Those appendages taste delicious, when fried with scrambled, bird eggs,

I went down to the local town, frog pond,

Came upon a frog with a magic wand,

He turned me into a big fat fly; what for? The question begs.

STRAWBERRY-PIE PLANT PIE

Deep, delicious radiant treat.

My strawberry-rhubarb pie,

Without its luster before my table seat,

I would  crash and die,

Strawberry-rhubarb pie my friends,

Strawberry-rhubarb pie,

The gods created flavors of other things,

 And, I ask the gods "just exactly why,"

Strawberry-rhubarb pie has the absolute taste,

And, no other flavors can remotely compare,

Why waste hours combining various bakery paste,

When, pie-plant and strawberries are the true baker's ware. 

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LEADFOOT PENNY GOT CAUGHT

Penny traveled down the road too fast,
And, became a part of the criminal caste,
So, she got a big fine,
But, Penny didn't whine,
For she violated many times in the past.

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THE PLANT SPIRIT

I just met the ghost of a red daffodil,

It use to live way up on this hill,

But a chipmunk, who was rude,

Thought the daffodil was food,

The daffodils' spirit wanders the hill still.

FROM COD TO SOD

I am universally known as a fish, cod,

A fisherman caught me with a hook, line and rod,

Now, I'm a cod on a bun,

It is not very much fun,

After digestion, I'll fertilize some grass, sod.

GONDOLIER

I dreamt I was a real gondolier, a gondolier says I, 

I'd sing a song as I pushed along, of love and lullaby,

I made a million gondo trips,

And, paid exclusively from tips,

I know I'll be remembered, because I was a gondola pushing guy,

SOCIAL MEDIA AI TECHIES DO THEIR BEST WORK ON THE TOILET

There are thousands of "lonely", "pretty girls", who want to follow me on the former, Twitter,

They must be awfully lonely, with no self-esteem, because I am vicious, mean and bitter,

Alas, the girls are AI,

Purposed for to corporate spy,

No doubt, these fictions are created by some ambitious tech lad, while sitting on a shitter.

TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE PILLS, OR YOU'LL END UP DEAD LIKE ME

First thing, I forgot to take my morning blood pressure pills,

I ended up cold dead, because of just mundane, life thrills,

A morning fight with my mate,

My subway train was real late,

At my job review, my boss said, I lacked critical skills,

THE CHORUS WITH BADGER BORIS

There once was a badger, he was called Boris,

He sang lead tenor in the forest chorus,

Big Uncle, Bird Buck

Sang baritone duck,

Bass vocals provided by the bull, Taurus.  

I HAVE THE RABIES, SO THIS DOG IS DONE

The kids all have measles, and they have to stay home,

Even poor, old grandpa has spots on his chrome dome,

Most of their doctors, say,

The spots will go away,

But, not so, the dog rabies, that make my lips foam.

DR. DAY AND MR. KNIGHT

I caught severe whooping cough, while sailing out on the bay,

I went to get a prescription from old Dr. Day,

He referred me to Mr. Knight,

Mr. Knight did not seem too bright,

But, Knight prescribed sucking cheese balls, and my cough went away.

6000 POSTS ON LIMERICKS AND STUFF BY LEIGH COLLIN BRANDT

I HAVE PUBLISHED 6000 POSTS ON THIS SITE

Thank you for visiting me and making this site an international success.  

I would also like to acknowledge some of my pseudonym names:  Tim Colin, Ted Colin, Mike Colin, Psychic Mystic Madam Misty Murky Merkel and Gerrard. 

Enjoy browsing on this site and others I have created.  My sites are all free to read and browse.  You do not need a subscription to access any posts.  Feel free to use "search" to quickly locate a subject that interests you.

Again, I thank everyone who has over the years, visited this site.  I would not have kept publishing these many years, if it were not for your visitations.

Chum's Corners Townie

I went to the town of Chum's Corners, it is my less than three, <3

It's where I buy my cookies and milk, for my afternoon tea,

Did the pinball arcade,

Sharpened the chainsaw blade,

 Nice day for me and townie ilk, except my sting from that bee. 

PETS IN THE POOL

My piranha pets that I keep in my pool, needed desperately to eat,

I invited over my neighbor to swim; he was loaded with fatty meat,

The big neighbor jumped into the pool,

With the voracious piranha school,

My pets striped the man's bones of fatty meat, from his bald head to his little feet.

PARKER LIKED OYSTERS AND CLAIMS, BUT SNAILS WERE LESS CONFUSING

At the beach, sometimes Parker picked up oysters, sometimes Parker picked up clams,

Sometimes Parker noticed Davids, sometimes parker noticed Pams,

Parker didn't know what to do,

So, Parker said, "toot a loo",

Then Parker went up the beach to pick up snails, all of them were Sams. 

THERE BE SCABIES HERE

My little brother had itchy scabies, they were thick as they could be

I told my brother to stay away, and keep his scabies off of me,

If only took a few,

Now, I'm infected too,

Our mean, crazy sister got away from us by climbing up a tree.

I GUESS I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME

I guess I have no one to blame,

I missed out at my one chance for fame,

For I rescued a treed kitty,

Said the paper of the city,

But,

 they neglected to correctly spell my name.

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I THANK MY BANK LIMERICK

I went to the bank to modify my home loan,
I was offered an ink pen, a coffee, a scone,
Although, many papers I signed,
A few weeks later I'd find,
My interest rate and my debts had both grown.

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FINGER STUBS AND MY RECKONING WITH CHOPIN

Chopin cut off all my fingers because of the noise I made,

He said no amount of his lessons would give my talent aid,

Now, with just my 10 finger stubs,

I work at the gym giving rubs,

I fixed Chopin; the last lesson he gave me, I never paid.

VINCENT PLAYED THE SAXOPHONE

Vincent played the saxophone,
He was completely deaf to tone,
He sounded like Jazz,
But, had no pizzazz,
For pay they would throw him a bone.

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