I'M HUNGRY ENOUGH TO BITE A TIGER ON HIS TAIL

Tiger, Tiger I'm really mad at you tonight,

You ate my few taters, and my small piece of trite,

Skinny me has no dinner,

I can't grow much thinner,

Best stay away from me, I'm hungry and I'll bite.

BENNY FED HIS GUEST A BIG MEAL

Benny did not see the bear that entered through the door,

Benny did not hear the bear, because Benny made loud snore,

Benny was quite a deal,

At 300 lbs, he made a meal,

After the bear was feeling full, he took a nap on Benny's floor.

BARN OWL BEAU AND THE BANSHE

In Freeland, there once was a barn owl, named Beau,

In the hen house, Beau saw a banshee named Coe,

Coe had an egg thieving plot,

But the barn owl, thought not,

So Beau bit off a banshe nose and big toe.

THE CANARY AND THE RAVEN, A CAUTIONARY TALE

I had a big pet raven, and he liked to eat canary,

He used to eat them by the bunch, like a small, yellow berry,

The canary birds worked together,

Netted my raven in bad weather,

Then they roasted and ate him in a scene that was real scary. 

MEAT, THE IN-LAWS

Henry had a wolverine, he raised it from a small pup,

Now Henry cannot feed the critters 24 hour sup,

So I took the critter off Henry's hands,

Set it free on my northern lands,

I told my in-laws they could camp for free, if they should come up.

NOBILITY, WORMS AND SQUIRMS

Oh, the noble chicken reigns, over the bugs and worms,

And, all creatures in the chicken coup, with the chicken, come to terms,

For the chicken, it can eat ya,

In a battle, it will defeat ya,

But, then here comes the fox, and in it's mouth the chicken squirms.

VINCENT ATE SOME JELLY

Vincent the hound dog, found a torpedo by the blue lake,

It was being consumed, by a massive green water snake,

It exploded his belly,

And spread out his snake jelly,

Vincent ate so much jelly, he got a bad tummy ache.

PIGS GOT MY PAP AND BOYS

All the morel mushrooms were being dug up by feral pigs,

So, we went out hunting them, by following their pig digs,

But, those clever pigs dug a trap,

Caught my two kids, and my pap,

I then bravely ran away, to hide at cousin Quigs.

WINNERS AND LOSERS OF THE WOODCHUCK CIVIL WAR

The two woodchucks and me, fought a battle in a great civil war,

We did coexist together on a farm, but not any more,

They ate all my grown food,

I became one skinny dude,

After the fight, I moved into a box, outside the one dollar store.

BEES IN THE BUNKER FREEZE BRAINS

I was down in the bunker, and was attacked by three bees,

One flew in my ear, the others attacked my weak knees,

I fell to the floor, 

And what is worse, more,

The bee bite in my ear gave me a brain freeze.

BOB PLAYED WITH SKUNKS, A CAUTIONARY TALE

Bob went to Newberry to see his cousin's skunk babies,

They were cute little stinkers, but they gave Bob the scabies,

Mange in his underwear,

And, a cute skunk called Pierre,

Bit Bob on the bum;  Bob needed shots for the rabies. 

THE LITTLE BIRD NAMED CHURBA

Churba is a little bird, and he makes a churbing sound,

Whenever I hear churbing, I know that Churba, is around,

Churba likes to eat cheddar cheese,

I sit it out, for Churba, to please,

Along with some tasty prunes, so Churba won't get bound.🧀🐦

CRAWDAD GOT TALENT

I bought a fish tank for my pet crawdad, Mr. Bay Jay,

Mr. Bay Jay was happy, and in his tank he would play,

He had a toy flute,

And he played it, so quite,

Sometimes he'd stare at me, but that was ok. 

WOLVES IN THE WOODS LOVE HOTDOGS IN THE HOODS

It was the 4th Of July and the wolves in the woods,

Were eating all campers, wearing red ridding hoods,

They smelled like hotdogs some say,

Of the campers, tagged for prey,

Seems like red hoods, taste like hotdog roasted goods.

DON'T FEED THE BEARS, ESPECIALLY YOUR HUMAN PARTS

When you see a bear, I know you'll have to stroke his nose,

But don't be afraid, when it seems his sharp teeth grows,

When you walk away from the bear, do not feel alarm,

Just because you may notice, you are missing half your arm,

Being friendly with a bear, will lead to tears,and woes.

THE BACKWOODS BEAR POEM

The bears are hungry and out eating again,

Best be good and not mess with the abominable sin,

Some bears live in cabins, some live in deep throated caves,

But all bears eat the campers and make them scat fill for graves,

Don't think for an hour that you can out clever a bear,

Because he's coming right for ya, when he smells underwear,

Bears always eat people, bears never human detox,

For human flesh is much sweeter, than that of cow or the ox,

So twist and turn and stay awake in your bed,

For if you doze away, a bear will eat you dead,

Now enjoy your camping in our bug infested backwoods,

And hold tight your old precious, when you pass through bear hoods.

POSSUMS GET INSIDE

There was a big old opossum, swimming in my bath tub,

His presence didn't bother me, after he gave a back rub,

It was an eye opening find,

Realizing possums were kind,

Then he bit off my ear, because he was hungry for grub.

THE WOODCHUCK GOT BRAINS

I had to give up my soul,

When I fell into that big woodchuck hole,

At the bottom were rocks,

Brains displayed like fresh lox,

The chuck feasted with his little friend, mole.

BAD AIRS AND CANADIAN CABIN BEARS

I went to Canada to do cavorting in fresh air,

The air was really bad, and I got ate by some bear,

Canada was a no win, 

No going back there to sin,

The bear pooped me out in the morning, in case you should care.💩💩💩🍸

THE HOME INVADER IN MY BED

I laid my head down on the pillow on top of my bed,

But it was not a pillow, it was a possum instead,

It bit on my face,

Then ran from the place,

Leaving my white sheets, turning very wet and very red.