THE LITTLE TASAR THAT COULD

Frankie was known as a weird little tasar,

Frankie was famous as a tasar trailblazer,

He gave bad guys a scare,

By burning their hair,

Frankie was a Barbour, and didn't use a razor.

THE BEARS CAME OUT FOR THE BOW

Out in the woods lived two bears named Earl and Roy,

They sometimes ate acorns, but fed on mostly soy,

One day, from their cabin they came out,

And gave the world a shout,

For above them was a rainbow, that brought their bear bods joy.

DID TIMES, SUCK LIMES

Harry Hermit could do both divides and also times,

Harry Hermit got confused, when he tried doing primes,

His geometry proofs went slow,

Ability to learn trig, was a NO!

Harry Hermit gave up math, and now just sucks on limes.

I CAUGHT FISH LIMERICK

Today I come back from fishing with a load of Rainbow trout,🐟🌈

I usually do real lousy, so today I'm gonna tout,

I fried them in a pan,

Shared them with my partner, Dan,

He can't go fishing because he suffers from the gout.

THE WOODCHUCK GOT BRAINS

I had to give up my soul,

When I fell into that big woodchuck hole,

At the bottom were rocks,

Brains displayed like fresh lox,

The chuck feasted with his little friend, mole.

THE TEMPERATURE IS TOO DARN HIGH

It was so hot the earth felt like a grill,

I was cooking and needed a chill,

My AC would not work,

Because of a utility clerk,

I was cut off because I couldn't pay my bill.

I STILL GOT A ROOM, BUT NO DEVICES THAT BOOM

My landlord knocked hard on my door,

Her knuckles ran red and looked sore,

I said go away,

I have no money today,

She then kicked the door down to the floor,

The landlord came into my room, 

I knew what was coming, my doom,

She said my room was a mess,

The loud noise caused her stress,

Mommy took all my speakers that boom.

PING PONG WITH GAS

I went to the temple, Ding Dong,

To meet a big hairy dude named King Kong,

King Kong was rude,

He belched eating food,

And farted while playing ping pong.

BAD AIRS AND CANADIAN CABIN BEARS

I went to Canada to do cavorting in fresh air,

The air was really bad, and I got ate by some bear,

Canada was a no win, 

No going back there to sin,

The bear pooped me out in the morning, in case you should care.💩💩💩🍸

CANADIAN FIRES AND I''M MISSING THE FAIR

Horrible air, just about everywhere,

It comes from Canada, it's like breathing hair,

If the lungs get more filled, 

I'm afraid I am killed,

I doubt that I make it to the Fall Harvest Fair.

SOY IS SO RICH, YET IT MAKES ME SO POOR

I went down the road to the store, to get me some soy,

I found lots of products, making me one happy boy,

I found soy that was gooey,

And soy nuts that were chewy,

And the price that I paid, filled the owner with joy.

THE HOME INVADER IN MY BED

I laid my head down on the pillow on top of my bed,

But it was not a pillow, it was a possum instead,

It bit on my face,

Then ran from the place,

Leaving my white sheets, turning very wet and very red.

MY AI WAS NO PI IN THE SKY

I went to the store and bought AI for my brain,

I plugged it into my head and got a huge IQ gain,

I had reasoning power,

But it only lasted one hour,

The hangover was a head throbbing pain.

POTTY WATTY THE BEAR

Potty Watty was a bear,

Potty Watty liked to share,

He shared his teeth,

With the rancher's beef,

And gave the herd of cows a scare.

GRANDPA'S CAVE, AND SAFETY FIRST

I went to a cemetery to check out a stone,

Where grand pappy was buried,with his skin and his bone,

It took my eyes no guidance,

To observe much subsidence,

The grave did a cave, I left an orange safety cone.

SOLAR BEAMS

I got burnt by some hot solar beams,

Now I'm covered with ointments and creams,

It has gotten so hot,

My brains cooked quite a lot,

Now out my nostrils and eye sockets, it steams

IT GOT SO HOT...

It became so very hot, my little house overheated,,

My air conditioner blew up, it was completely defeated,

I retreated to the tub,

In the water, I played sub,

Then the house exploded with fire, soon my walls were deleted.

AVOIDED LEACHES, BUGS, WORMS AND CRABS, BUT NOT FLIES

My towel was my little piece of paradise on the beach,

It held down beneath me the worm, bug, crab and blood sucking leach,

But then came the flies,

They molested my eyes,

Be extremely cautious at the beach, is the sermon I preach.

PEACE, GREASE AND BANANAS

The only way my brain finds peace,

Is eating bananas fried in bacon grease,

They taste so good,

The main food in my hood,

We use them for stuffing, in our Christmas geese.

SMELL OF THE BURN CREAMS

I went out in the sun and got photon abused,

I got peeling, burnt skin, and the sun I've accused,

Then after puppy was fed,

I went real early to bed,

The smell of the burn creams, made my brain so confused.