WHEN BRINE SHRIMP ATTACK

My tank full of guppies was completely unease,

So I bought some brine shrimp, to try to please,

One brine shrimp grew bigger,

Ate my fish and cat, Trigger,

I now beg him for mercy, while down on my knees.

AFTER PRIDE MY GOLDFISH LIED🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

I'm having an autopsy on my goldfish to see why he died,😭

Yesterday, I took him from his bowel with me to have fun at Pride,🌈

He seemed happy flip-flopping,💃🕺👯

To the music he was hopping,🎶🎵🎶 

When I looked this morning at his bowl, on the bottom, he lied.💔

THE WOODCHUCK GOT BRAINS

I had to give up my soul,

When I fell into that big woodchuck hole,

At the bottom were rocks,

Brains displayed like fresh lox,

The chuck feasted with his little friend, mole.

FINGERING CHIP DIPS AND BUBBA THE DOG

I don't like it when the dog kisses me on my lips,

My hound Bubba kisses me after I eat salty kips,

He don't kiss when I eat sardines, 

Or a platter of fresh greens,

But he will lick my fingers, when I  run them through

 chip dips.

MY PET GUPPY GOES TO HEAVEN

Bills are up, cash flow is down,

I skip my sup, don't go to town,

And I'm thinking,

This is stinking,

I ate pet gup, poor makes me frown.

BAD MACKEREL III: REVENGE AND REVOLUTION

Donny bought a can of Mackerel for a special keto diet,

Mackerel tasted just so, so, but Donny thought that he should try it,

The mackerel made Donny's tummy swell,

Until he shaped up like a bell,

Then Donny's stomach got to gurgling, which made Donny's colon have a riot. 

BAD MACKEREL (THE PREQUEL).

Benny the mackerel was awfully bad,

He scared Sid the goldfish and made Sidney sad,

So I sent Benny away,

Out into the bay,

Where he got canned, and I'm glad.

BAD MACKEREL

Mostly mackerel was in the can,

Along with stones, and a rubber ban,

It was dry and chunky,

And not cracker dunky,

The fish was all green, and not at all tan.

MAXINE AND ROD

There once were two peas in a pod,

Their names were Maxine and Rod,

From their spacious abode,

They were cooked, then they goed,

Crowded into a can like the cod.

THE BEAVER, PANSY AND FRIENDS

Pansy was a beaver, and she dove for fish all day,

Nancy had a clever, and cleaned fish down by the bay,

Pansy sold Nancy fresh fish,

Chef Helen bought the fish for a dish,

They all loved their work, though the profits were only o.k.

I MAKE A NICE HOME

I thought the car weight the ice could take,

When I drove my pickup out on the lake,

I instantly froze, 

When under I goes,

Now my bones are a home to two bass and a snake.

MY BELLY AILS FROM FISH BONES AND SCALES

I went ice fishing and caught 3 tiny fish,

I was hungry so I made a Pattie dish,

I left in the bones and on the scales,

The Pattie gave my belly ails,

I should have stayed home, that's what I wish.

ICE FISH TO FIT MY PAN AND DISH

I only keep the little fish,

Because they fit my pan and dish,

I fish out on the ice,

Each week I go twice,

At least till the hard ice goes squish.

DEEP DITCH FISHING

In great lakes and great oceans fishermen find their riches,

But, I find my best fishing along roads with deep ditches,

Among the cattails are the muckers,

Those tasty crawdads and blood suckers,

Of course, you must beware so none get into your britches. 

  

MY WORM BAIT LIMERICK

I thought I'd go fishing so, I picked up some worms,

I thought I'd catch keepers on my living bait terms,

But, the big fish weren't hard hitting,

My worms they were spitting,

I caught just minnows instead of large pachyderms.

MY END OF JUNE FISHING TRIP

It's the last day of June and fishing I've gone,

I'm catching nothing but weeds from the lake bottoms thick lawn,

It seems no matter what I may do,

I catch weeds brown, green and, blue,

I think my fish stories from today will just be a big yawn.

SAMMY WORKED ON TEETH, RIP

Sammy use to work on teeth,

Until he married his best friend, Keith,

They honeymoon-snorkeled a coral reef,

While snacking on a can of beef,

Till a great white shark hauled them beneath.

DANCE OF THE WATER SPIDER

The water spider was really silly,

He teased a mama fish named Millie,

When Millie was about,

The spider danced above her snout,

Until the mama fish felt hungry and killy.

I LOST MY SPINNER

I trolled for bluegills and caught a log,

It was stuck in the bottom in a dark mucky bog,

Then my line broke,

And, like some unkind joke,

My last spinner sank into the muck fog. 

THERE WAS A GOLDFISH NAMED DREW

There was a nice goldfish named Drew,
But, instead of gold he was blue,
Blue made him feel sad,
But, he shouldn't feel bad,
A blue goldfish was just something new.