THE DEMON DOG AND THE WEREWOLVES

When you go out trick or treating, 

That's when werewolves will be eating,

But a demon dog,

Who eats like a hog,

On werewolves he be feeding.

DINNER FOR ONE (When A Loner Eats Alone)

The meat from the can was supposed to be pork,

But, it was real chewy and tasted like cork,

So, I took a glug of my drink,

Which made my gums bleed and eyes blink,

And, the meat ran away with my fork.

WHY I LOST MY APPETITE FOR A CHRISTMAS GOOSE

Christmas is coming, and I didn't know where the goose was at,

Turns out it had a lover, and the lover was a bat,

Now the babies fly around, the gats and bease,

Honking, hissing, leaving me little peace,

I think for Christmas dinner, we'll eat my kid's pet big white rat.

THE RUBBER DUCK FESTIVAL IN BELLAIRE

The festival of the rubber ducks,

It's not for the gobbles or the cluck, clucks,

It's just for quackers,

Down pillow packers,

On the menu, roast quackers, lacking lucks.

SQUASH BLOSSOM DINNER

I fried me some squash blossoms in my old frying pan,

Then I fried me some baked beans, I cut out of a can,

Although it all smelled like carpet-feet,

It was a real tasty treat,

Then I rested by my big, old box fan.

THE LITTLE DEMON DINNER PARTY

I went and found a demon, eating his dinner out in the wood,

He was chomping on someone's arms and legs, while smacking his lips real good,

He asked me if I'd sit down and sup,

I said, "no thanks", before I threw up,

The demon replied, " more for me", as I turned back towards my neighborhood.

SAMMY'S SAUSAGE MALFUNCTION

Sammy ate pork sausage not quite done,

He ate it anyway because he had to run,

But it was not funny,

When the pork came out runny,

While Sammy was meeting with his big bosses son.

THE MICHIGAN OMNIVORE

In Michigan for a meal to score,
You must become an omnivore,
With finances unkind,
You eat what you find,
On the dirt, the bush or, the floor.

BREAKFAST POST ROAST URINE

I went to do an internet post,

While in thought I burned my toast,

It was my last slice of bread,

That was not stale, moldy dead,

My coffee tastes like a urinal roast.

I WANTED TO GET ME SOME MEATS

I was tired of rice and beans as my primary eats,

So I went to a fast burger place to get me some meats,

But the burgers were so rare,

They weren't even there,

I guess the burger maker had sampled some treats.

SANTA'S HAVING VENISON FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER

If I were Santa I'd buy some sheep,

Because reindeer are to costly to keep,

Of course, magic flying sheepy,

Might sound kind of creepy,

And chopping reindeer into venison, will make Santa's elves weep.

THE DRAGON HUNTER

I shot a dragon from the sky,

Shooting the dragon made my kid cry,

Then I made some dragon pie,

It burned my guts, thought I would die,

Rest I ate with mayo on rye.

MOMMA AND I EAT PIE AND THE KIDS EAT BEANS

I feed my family pineapple with pork and beans,

It feeds the little ones through the teens,

But, momma and I,

We eat fruit pie,

So, we're a couple of fats while the kids are all leans.

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