THE GRADER-GUY SMILES

My mailbox sat in a snowbank and the grader was coming near,

Soon my mail would be all over, because the grader was no dear,

BAM! my mail flew into space,

Grader-guy smiled across his face,

My mailbox was crushed to pieces, so I shed a little tear.

MY SNOW ADVENTURE LIMERICK OPUS 9

I had an adventure out in the snow,

It was drifting and drifting and it gave me a blow,

I did not feel fine,

For the blow broke my spine,

Now off in the ambulance I go.

SNOWBOARD DOWN

Jim weighed 500 lbs, so his snowboard wouldn't go,

Except when Jim got on it the board sank in the snow,

So Jim stayed inside the ski lodge,

Played pool with his friend Rodge,

Couldn't wait till back home he could go.

I MAKE A NICE HOME

I thought the car weight the ice could take,

When I drove my pickup out on the lake,

I instantly froze, 

When under I goes,

Now my bones are a home to two bass and a snake.

AFTERLIFE ANCESTOR TEA COMPANY

My car slid on the ice and I slammed into a tree,

Then my ancestors surrounded me,

"You drive too fast",

They said at last,

"Now you're dead and we won't share our tea."

TIM BLOWS THE SNOW LIMERICK

Tim blows the snow all winter long,

Wearing heavy cloths and a woolen thong,

He sings a jolly snowblower song,

One might conclude Tim is ding dong,

But if he blows my drive, I'll admit I'm wrong.

A POOR SOULS PRACTICAL CHRISTMAS WISH

I wish Santa would bring me some cloths,

Like some socks to thaw out my toes,

Maybe a coat to stay warm,

Boots to walk a snow storm,

And some pants so my legs don't get froze.

CARS AND THE GLOW SNAKE

There was a slithering orange snake in the snow,

He slithered out onto the highway to glow,

When they saw the snow snake,

Each  car hit the brake,

Then sliding off the highway they'd go.

WET SNOWMAN LIMERICK

My snowman was the best yet,

But then it rained and he got wet,

Then he turned to ice,

Which is kind of nice,

Now he never itches since he froze his head lice.

HO, HO, HO AND IT'S TIME TO SNOW

Such dreaded heat I can't remember,

I'm using air conditioning in late September,

But soon, ho, ho, ho,

We'll be covered with snow,

In late October or early November. 

I AM LEVER MAN

I gave the planet called world, a tremendous gift,

I invented the lever, now the world has some lift,

Now we can teeter and totter,

And drink lemon-lime water,

Until we're frozen and buried, in a real deep snow drift.

IT RAINED ON MY SNOWMAN ARMY PARADE

Down the rain kept coming and washed my snowman army all away,

I was going to invade the neighbor's rhubarb patch on the first full day of May,

With winter labors I made 

My snowmen on parade,

Now, I'll have to start over with clay.

A FOOL AND HIS CAR ON THIN ICE ARE SOON PARTED

I drove my car out on the ice to do some tip up fishing,

Then, I found out that safe ice was just some foolish wishing,

Under my tires there was a "crack, crack,"

Then, I knew the lake was about to attack,

And, down went my car,

But, it didn't sink too far,

For it landed on another car's back. 

A POEM FOR ALL SEASONS

When I blow snow,

Away it will go,

I might be paid doe,

To buy a me a hoe,

For the garden, you know,

To keep the weeds low,

To make pickles grow,

So my plants don't feel woe,

Next, tie my shoes with a bow,

And the lawn I must mow,

Then I'll jump in my dingy and row, row, row, row.

THE WINDCHILL, WINDCHILL GO AWAY LIMERICK

Windchill, windchill go away,

Or, I will freeze my face today,

I must shovel snow,

Or, I cannot go,

Ice fishing out on the bay.

I LOST THE TIGHT SQUEEZE ON MY LOVIE

I went outside when the moon was real bright,

But it was cold and I got some frostbite,

Doc said the frostbite, it lingers,

As he cut off my fingers,

Now I can't hold my Lovie real tight.

THE CREATOR

Today I'll.go outside, if I can,

To make me a perfect snowman,

First I roll some snowballs,

Then I stack them up, talls,

Then I rub him down with lotions, so the sun will make him tan.

FEBRUARY 1ST

It is February the very first,

It's cold, arse cold, maybe the worst,

No car ride to the town,

The darn car's broken down,

And the woodstove got too hot and burst.

JANUARY HUMP

In January the temps go slump,

But January 16, is the January hump,

More light in the day,

Hope for a quick coming May,

Optimism gets a much needed bump.

WHERE LAY THE BONES

Snow is coming, this I fear,

My right eye pees a single tear,

I have not stored enough ginger beer,

Nor, have I scored my needs in deer,

Methinks by spring my bones lay here.