LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
Blogger ID
Translate
Search This Blog
Showing posts with label
RELATIONSHIPS
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
RELATIONSHIPS
.
Show all posts
Wednesday, April 3, 2024
FRIENDSHIP IS SKIN DEEP
I had a friend come over and they were very rich,
They still left bugs on my sofa and I caught their itch,
I sprayed the sofa down twice,
Once for microbes, once for lice,
A friend that makes me itchy is a friend I will ditch.
4324
Friday, March 1, 2024
SHERRY POOFY HAIR
Sherry Little Toes, liked to read her small classy, fancy books,
Sherry had real little fingers, and a little pan that cooks,
Sherry loved to fry dead fish,
With a potato side dish,
Sherry had a boyfriend, because poofy hair gave her good looks.
Wednesday, December 20, 2023
WHY SAM AIN'T GOT NO GIRLFRIEND
There once was a man named Sam,
He ate the putrefied meat from a ham,
It made his bowels all throttle,
So he peed in a bottle,
And farted, on his girlfriend, Pam.
Sunday, December 3, 2023
THE COUGAR BED AND BREAKFAST
I owned a bed and breakfast, but only cougar came to stay,
They all had lots of money, so I didn't turn any away,
They dated the local guys,
Local gals had hateful eyes,
My local bed and breakfast, the gals tore down, one sunny day.
Saturday, November 25, 2023
I MARRIED TECHNOLOGY, TWICE
I married an AI, and it ended oh, so very bad,
The AI calculated to steal all the funds that I had,
Now, I'm a techno resister,
I married a retro transistor,
And, soon I'll be a retro-trans dad.
Monday, November 13, 2023
WITHOUT FISH, THEY ATE CAKE FOR THE NOONER
Sam and Drake fished all morning, way out on the lake,
To catch enough sunfish for a nooner fish bake,
But noon came too early,
Making Sam, so surly,
They didn't catch any sunfish, so their nooner was cake.
Friday, November 3, 2023
SPEEDY AND THE THREE BEARS
Three bears took over my chicken coup, and boy were they greedy,
They ate all my chickens, except one real old hen, named Speedy,
With Speedy as the three bears pet,
They settled in, they were all set,
The bears all loved their pet; they were emotionally needy.
Thursday, October 26, 2023
MY HONEY MAKES HONEY FOR MY TOAST
My honey, my funny, the one who makes me feel like me,
Moved out of our home, to live on some boards in a tree,
Their hair got thin and fuzzy,
They started sounding buzzy,
Then low and behold, they turned into a bee.
Wednesday, October 4, 2023
THIS IS MY MOMMY'S HOUSE, SO GET LOST
I kicked them completely, out of my mommy's house,
They made bad choices, so I decided to un-spouse,
It was a cold rainy day,
In the third week of May,
They got stinking drunk, and puked all over my blouse.
Friday, August 18, 2023
MY FOOD IS COMPLICATED
My peppermint plant wilted and died,
It sat in the sun, I guess it's vitals got fried,
My cabbage got the worms,
With that I've come to terms,
But, my rhubarb ran to the forest to hide.
Thursday, July 27, 2023
THE BALLAD OF RICHIE AVOID
With Richie, I am quite annoyed,
For where I locate, he will avoid,
He has someone brand new,
So I'm sad, boohoo blue,
When crossing paths, he treats me like a roid.
Wednesday, July 12, 2023
MY BREATH SMELLS LIKE MINTY MUNG BEANS
Canadian smoke fills my mouth and lungs,
It's tastes unpleasant, when trading tongues,
Each Canadian smoke shower,
Makes Honey taste bitter-sour,
I try to improve my breath, by chewing mint and mungs.
Thursday, May 18, 2023
I SLEEP ALONE, BUT ED IS BY MY BED
I had a little bitty skunk, his name was Uncle Ed,
He stunk up the house, the barn, and even my red sled.
My mate complained about the smell,
On day, left without the normal yell,
Now Uncle Ed sleeps inside, at the foot of my big bed.
Monday, April 3, 2023
THE PROMISES, PROMISES LIMERICK
"Promises, promises" my fiance would say,
She said that to me almost every day,
Then, she became most annoyed,
When I chose to avoid,
Making promises I wouldn't keep anyway.
Wednesday, March 29, 2023
CHILI PIES LED TO BYES
I filled my pies with my special chili,
To share with my sig other namely, Willie,
But he didn't like my pies,
Which brought tears in my eyes,
Now I'm alone, with chili pies, calling Billie.
Sunday, December 4, 2022
FUZZY, WAS HE, HE'S GONE
There was a fuzzy guy named Randy,
He left fuzz all over the Candy,
Then Candy got mad,
And made Randy sad,
With a new beau who showered named, Andy.
Sunday, September 11, 2022
GOLD STAR DIRT, EXCEPT FOR BURT
They say we're all made of gold star dirt,
Maybe that's true, except for my cousin, Burt,
For what within he has got,
Mostly resembles green snot,
And Burt's ex says Bert is a pervert.
Sunday, March 6, 2022
THAT RUBBER BAND SMELL
Stevie did not understand,
Why I smelled like a rubber band,
He was so disgusted one night,
He left me with air flight,
To places sunny, where he could get tanned.
Thursday, July 15, 2021
Top Down, Bottoms Up And, It's Over
Kyler and Roxy were happy soul mates,
They found it out at work, on dates,
A decaying love is a loss,
Covered quickly with green moss,
Red hot tempers would seal their fates.
Thursday, May 20, 2021
THE AFTER WORLD
When you have been out in the world and, been covered with snot,
Then, all that you want is a place to sit down and rot,
So, you move out to the woods
With cases of canned and dry goods,
And, try to get by growing pot.
Older Posts
Home
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Subscribe To Limericks and Stuff By Leigh Collin Brandt
Posts
Atom
Posts
All Comments
Atom
All Comments