THERE WAS A LITTLE CHICKEN NAMED SOUP

There was a little chicken named soup,
She shot baskets using a wing shot at the hoop,
But, as chicken soup grew older,
She developed a bad shoulder,
So, she retired to raise chicks in here coup.

A BANANA MUTED MY TOOT

My trumpet I tried and tried to make toot,
It didn't work because it was stuffed with a fruit,
It seems my dear nanna,
Didn't like her banana,
The fruit fit my trumpet but, not grandpa's flute.

BIGFOOT IS GOING TO EAT ME

In Michigan it gives me scares,
Here, Bigfoot ate up all the bears,
Now, will the Bigfoot come for me?
I'm really tender, if not tasty,

Oh Bigfoot, Bigfoot in the night,
Go away, don't cause me fright,
Now that all the bears are gone,
I fear your comming from dusk till dawn,

Oh mighty Bigfoot please go away,
Birds taste better I would say,
Try eating rabbit or maybe deer,
I taste like veggies and smell like beer.

BIRD FEEDER

My little bird gives his feathers tugs,

So he can get a meal of bugs,

He's so shy,

He won't fly high,

Instead he hunts more bugs in my rugs.

SNOWBOARD DOWN

Jim weighed 500 lbs, so his snowboard wouldn't go,

Except when Jim got on it the board sank in the snow,

So Jim stayed inside the ski lodge,

Played pool with his friend Rodge,

Couldn't wait till back home he could go.

BEN WALKED IN THE WOODS

Ben walked in the woods, overheated and froze,

He had ticks on his skin, and bugs up his nose,

He was very itchy,

Smelled of pine pitchy,

When he got home, he took a bath in his cloths.

I MAKE A NICE HOME

I thought the car weight the ice could take,

When I drove my pickup out on the lake,

I instantly froze, 

When under I goes,

Now my bones are a home to two bass and a snake.

I FROZE MY WAY TO HADES

I stepped outside onto ice and down steep steps I slid,

Smacked my head on the car, and went off the grid,

I died when I slowly froze,

Was greeted by my dead nanna, Rose,

I knew I was in Hades, because I spied grandpa Sid.

MY GOOD NEIGHBOR, SHOOT AND LOOT

My neighbors name is shootie,

He said shooting me was his duty,

He aimed for my head,

And shot me real dead,

So my home he is free to go lootie.

THE SNOW MOON LIMERICK

I went out to see the Snow Moon,

It was cute like my baby raccoon,

Then the moon disappeared,

Behind clouds that I feared,

And it snowed until the mid part of June.

HORSEY DORSEY ON TWITTER

Horsey Dorsey had four feet,

Horsey Dorsey liked to tweet,

When his hooves would quickly pound,

He made a galloping hoof sound,

Unless he had music, then he'd pound to the beat.

TOWING

I had a tow truck and I went out towing,

But I could not see where I was going,

Then there was a pitch,

And I flipped into the ditch,

Now the grass over my grave, they keep mowing.

WINTER WOED ME GOOD

It is the winter of my woe,

It got so cold I froze my toe,

Can't pay for heat, I'm out of doe,

The roof caved in because of snow,

I'm burning books, so heat I'll know.

IF I REALLY LIKED THE SNOW

If I really liked the snow,

Then today, outside I'd go,

I'd make snow angels, and make wings grow,

I'd build a fort; give enemies woe,

I'd cannon snowballs at sister, foe.

MY BELLY AILS FROM FISH BONES AND SCALES

I went ice fishing and caught 3 tiny fish,

I was hungry so I made a Pattie dish,

I left in the bones and on the scales,

The Pattie gave my belly ails,

I should have stayed home, that's what I wish.

GROUND HOG HYGIENE

My ground hog felt he'd gain friends and power,

By smelling better after a shower,

Instead of shampoo, he grabbed bleach,

It was a moment to teach,

He smells like a gym pool, instead of a flower.

MY LITTLE GROUNDHOG HAD A BAD DAY

My little groundhog had a bad day,

It snowed so he could not go out and play,

Then his computer was broke,

When he spilled on it his Coke,

Maybe tomorrow things will be breaking his way.

MICHIGAN PSYCHO TEMPERATURES

The Michigan winters are dry ice cold,🌬🌨❄😱

For a bit of heat all souls are sold,🔥😥👹

Now, summers are oppressive hot,🌡☀🌶

People boil like onions in a pot,🍲

Their skins peel back and smell good, not!👃🚽🚬

IN THE DEER-WOODS I SET UP A TENT

In the deer-woods I set up a tent,
I set up a wood-stove and piped out a vent,
Heat was my desire,
But, my whole tent caught fire,
So, out to the cold woods I went.

STRETCH OUT CHILI BY ADDING BEANS

A bear ate the weather woodchuck, and I don't know what that means,

Will winter be long or short, or somewhere inbetweens,

Will we get northern snow,

Or, a warm southern blow,

Will my chili be all meat, or almost 2/3rds beans.