HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN

The cars on the highway started to beep,

So I had to go out and move my sheep,

Cars are evil and chilling,

They do sheep roadkill killing,

Then at the end of the day, I weep.

MY ROOSTER GOT TAIL IN THE END

The dog next door, Jim call him poop,

He tried to raid Jim's chicken coup,

But Jim's rooster had beak,

And Poop's tail he did seek,

Tonight Jim fine dines, on Poopy tail soup.

PUT SAFETY FIRST WHEN FOLLOWING COWS

I followed the cows at eventide,

The cows kicked up bacteria so, then I died,

Follow cows if you must,

Just cover your face from the dust,

Then, with the bovine species abide. 

THE PIG GOT HIS RIGHTS, NOW MY DIGS CRUMBLE DOWN

I decided to fix up my crumbling digs,

By making money raising razor back pigs,

But one pig was no fool,

He sued to attend school,

Now he's a professor, lecturing between cigs.

A BELLY FULL OF COW, AND STUFF

There was an alligator in my cow pond, and he ate every cow,

He ate my cats and rabbit, and he ate the dog that went "bow wow"

I set a trap,

But it was crap,

The gator ate my kids,and cousin, and my neighbor Rev. Dow.

I FOUND CAKE

I went to the barn and found some moist, chocolate cake,

It was laying in hay, still a big piece I did take,

It was a trifle bit runny,

And the cows looked at me funny,

I heard more than one of them say, that I was a flake.

BIRD FLU

I eat mostly the legs off chicken,

I eat down to the bones, where I find slim pickin,

I drink applesauce,

Till I'm sick and toss,

Bird and fruit cause my belly to sicken.

WHEN BETTY GOOSE GOT ON THE LOOSE

I had a cow named Betty Goose,

She became with calf every time she got loose,

Of course the babies I'd steal,

To make myself veal,

Marinated in cranberry juice.

POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS

Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,

The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,

That made Dave feel really sad inside,

So, in his hankie he cried and cried,

Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.

CHICKEN EATER, OBSESSED

I eat chicken for every meal,

And to and from work; behind the wheel,

I like chicken for a night snacky,

Or any hunger attacky,

And corn breaded fried chicken, has sex appeal.

Little Goat Goes To School

Little Goat goes to school,

He gets straight A's, as a rule,

Goat once got a D,

In geometry,

Teach raised it to an A cause Goat's cool.

LITTLE GOAT GOES TO COLLEGE

A little goat ate all my flowers,

In record time, with his chewing powers,

I had to say

"Little goat, go away",

Now he lives in a dorm called The Towers.

The Runny One Is In The Soup

I had four chickens in my coup,

They all could do the hula hoop,

I needed one for chicken soup,

I picked the chicken that peed it's poop,

That one was the outcast of the group.

SANTA MAN AND THE MILK COW, AND BEN

Mossy my milk cow, she pulled Santa's sleigh,

That's because the reindeer had all run away,

Santa had gained many a pound,

The sleigh wouldn't lift off the ground,

Mossy and bull Ben, powered Santa that day.

DON'T EAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Mossy the cow ate my Christmas tree,

She knew that I loved it, but she had to spite me,

Mossy had a smile, I a frown,

But I turned them upside down,

For Christmas dinner we had beef, and it was so tasty. 

I WAS DISARMED BY A HUNGRY ZOMBIE

A zombie who had no charm,

Bit off my pretty right arm,

Then after he fed,

He walked away with the dead,

I reincarnated as a pig on a farm.🐖

THE TWO LITTLE SILOS SAGA, IN LIMERICK FORM

There were two little silos, sitting as neighbors in a field,

When one silo overflowed, the other would absorb the yield,

Then one day one caught fire,

It burned like an old truck tire,

Now there's only one silo, and he got scorched real bad and peeled.

THE INTERVENTION MADE ME A LOSER

My cow loves her alcohol, but her milk is full of booze,

And every time I drink her milk, I have to take a snooze,

With the pig, goat, rooster and horse,

The cow got an intervention, of course,

Now depressed, she won't give milk, and the vitamin D I lose.