There was a leprechaun named Pete,
Corned beef and cabbage was all he’d eat,
He was full of green gas,
And, could not get a lass,
He made music all night tweet, tweet, tweet.
There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”
I lost my money in shadow banking,
While the markets rose my account was tanking,
Of course when the markets eroded,
My account then imploded,
Now, I invest in collectible franking.
Corrine is a mermaid in Grand Traverse Bay,
She is shy so if she sees you she will swim away,
She swims free like a trout,
But, watches all about,
I'd like to meet and greet her one day.
There once was a crocodile named Larry,
He was the only crock that was hairy,
His fangs were real long,
His claws sharp and strong,
He certainly looked very scary.
If you take the road most taken,
You’ll bring home a lot of bacon,
Take the road that’s not,
You won’t have a pot,
Then, with your family you will be forsaken.
Larry the crocodile owns a bank,
He swims all day in his deluxe fish tank,
If your payments are late,
Then, you will surely be ate,
It's a fate with a really low rank.
Peppy was a popular picker of antique coins and clothes,
She did not have to see a top pick; she could smell it with her nose,
But, something went really funny,
When Peppy thought she smelled old money,
Because, the smell came from the big toe jams in between her toes.
Papa Craig Mitchell mixed his coffee and tea, He added milk, sugar and, honey made by a bee, Many thought he was insane, Some disease of the brain, But, Papa Craig Mitchell still lives at age 93.
My banker told me to buy real estate, I lost my shirt by the closing date, My broker said buy stocks, Then, stocks hit the rocks, I guess being broke is just my fate.
I lost my job, my car and, my home, I'm kind of stuck with no where to roam, I've moved in with my parents, I'm here with forbearance, I can't drink the stuff with the foam.
A band played way out of tune, They played from midnight until noon, And, they could not keep a beat, Even tapping their feet, I wish they would quit really soon.
I fear my face has been Dr. Jeckeled,
I went to bed with clear skin and woke up all freckled,
And, the great change in my face,
Has my friends on my case,
For all the rest of the day I was heckled.
It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win, I'm being visited by a houseful of kin, They devoured all my steaks, Leaving me to eat just pancakes, And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.
Jason was the limerick king, He could rhyme about anything, He was good with the rhyme, But his time was a crime, So he never had any bling. JASON TRIED TO WRITE MUSIC VERSE Jason tried to write music verse, But, each revision sounded worse, His love unrequited, Got no one excited, He became a registered nurse.
Harold was a thespian, He wrote the thespian news, In order to right something that sounded good, Harold really hit the hard booze, So many actors were really bad, Harold could not hide his humor, They gave so much that it was sad, That their acting was a cancer tumor, Their timing was way off, Their sincerity was not true, They sounded best when someone would cough, They were terrible and all but, they knew.
I decided to go to the Western Bar, I walked because it was not too far, My white cowboy hat had yellowed, So, passersby bellowed, My western look wasn't quite par.
My fingers got blown off today,
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.
In Grand Traverse Bay there are sharks who will bite, So, onto your arms and your legs hold on tight, And, best guard your head, If sharks eat that you're dead, And, headless bodies fill tourists with fright.
I got a cricket beneath my old bed, I got it's chirping in my throbbing head, So, I took a look, To smack him with a book, Out the window the cricket done fled.
There's sharks in Grand Traverse Bay, Otherwise, it's a nice place to stay, But, the sharks always attack, Few swimmers come back, And, upfront at hotels you must pay.
Hamlet was a shy dipsy diver bug, He'd dive if he caught a glimpse of your mug, He'd swim ten foot away, Before you could say, "He must use a performance enhancing drug."
I gave my pig a real fair choice, Become a ham or use his voice, His tenor voice was brilliant, Really opera resilient, Now, his ride is a custom Rolls Royce.