THE DESPERATELY HUNGRY FISHERMAN LIMERICK

Carl went fishing and stepped on a hook,
It hurt really bad and he didn't want to look,
He had caught his big toe,
And, Carl didn't know,
If he had a toe recipe in his cook book.
 

GRANDMA BABYSITTER

While ma worked as a seamstress for grocery pay,

Grandma watched Dorothy each and every day,

Dorothy was real small,

Grandma, big and tall,

When Dorothy's feet hit the ground, Dorothy ran fast away.

OTTO PASSED MASS

Otto's tummy cramped real bad,

That made Otto very sad,

Then Otto did a pass,

Of a hard, hard mass,

It was the largest mass Otto ever had.

CUDDLE BUNNIES

I went out strolling with some little Easter Bunnies,

They ate Easter markdown chocolates, and got the Easter runnies,

The sick bunnies made me sad,

Their recovery made me glad,

They all cuddled up next to me, and became my bunny honeys. 

I'M DRIFTING TOWARD A MEGA STAR

I'm drifting toward a mega star,💀

In my new blue spaceship car,😞🚙

You just don't get a gravity pass,😒

When your car runs out of gas,⛽😱

I do have a backseat wet bar. 🍹🤗

 

THE WAY THAT JOHNNY ATE CHICKEN

Whenever Johnny ate chicken,
You could hear his teeth go a clickin',
He sucked the meat off the bones,
With the most vulgar tones,
And oh yes, he'd be finger lickin'.

THE EASTER PIG

🐖🐖🐖My little pet pig ran off to be free,🐷🐷🐷
But, hunters got him as he hid in a tree,😱😭🐗
Not knowing his name was Sam,🐽🐽🐽
The hunters saw him as another ham,🍖🍖🍖
He was served on Easter Sunday at three.🕒🕒🕒

 

ODE TO THE DAFFODIL

Oh daffodil, Oh daffodil,

Please pop your flower and greet the spring,

For only your iconic flower,

Will give my winter woes a wing,

Oh daffodil, Oh daffodil,

You are the jewel of my little yard,

Which, you festoon with a flower bloom,

Making a centerpiece on my Easter Card.

MY EASTER DAY PIZZA LIMERICK

I ordered pizza for dinner on Easter Day,
Topped with boiled eggs, ham and, a chocolate bunny display,
But, it was so sad,
For the boiled eggs had gone bad,
Those that ate pizza, later on they would pay.

DEAR CAMP.TWO (Nature Does That Reckoning Thing)

I went to dear camp and I got a big scare,

My face was chewed off by an old grumpy bear,

I tried running,

But the bear wasn't funning,

He made me a scat pile of bones and red hair.

ROCKO GOT GNAWED

Rocko went swimming and got the parasites,

Drilled into his skin when he turned out the lights,

Boy did they bite,

They gnawed in real tight,

Rocko is known as most hideous of sites.

ELEPHANT BAD PET

I brought home an elephant, but I think I'll take him back,

The first thing he did was tear the walls off of my shack,

Then he knocked down my trees,

Frightened my honey bees,

Then he ate 12 bushels of apples, which for him was just a snack.

CATERER IN THE WOODS

So a backwoods wedding I could caters,

I went out out and dug some taters,

The main dish, squirrels,

Gave the guests bad hurls,

None wanted tater salad, made with eggs from gators.

I AM A SMALL SPIDER

I am a small spider that got washed away,

Now I am stuck on the ground, in the wet clay,

So I'll swim like a duck,

Climb up from the muck,

Build me a web, and there my eggs I will lay.

MONKEY CY, CRY

There once was a little monkey named Cy,

When he smelled a banana, he'd cry,

It reminded him of mommy,

She was accused being commie,

Then whisked off to prison without a "bye".

DEAD POET GARBAGE CROW

The garbage pickup runs real slow,

Why that is, I really don't know,

Number of bears, grow,

Cheered on by a crow,

Or, is it a Raven, like by Edgar Allen Poe.

BENNY BIGFOOT WENT TO A BAR OWNED BY BEARS LIMERICK

Benny bigfoot went to a bar owned by bears,
They did not want to see him, but his roar gave them scares,
After he drank a few brew,
He felt hungry too,
The bear stew was good except for the hairs.

POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS

Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,

The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,

That made Dave feel really sad inside,

So, in his hankie he cried and cried,

Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.

DAVE POACHED DEER

Dave poached deer in seven counties,

And, on his head there were twelve bounties,

But, Dave saw a need,

He had mouths to feed,

Now, he's been jailed by county Mounties.

AN APRIL FOOL'S PLAN

I suppose I should plan an April Fool's joke,

One not so scary it would make someone croak,

Maybe one big surprise,

A day I tell no one lies,

Yet, perhaps the truth might give someone a stroke.