LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
INSECTS
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
INSECTS
.
Show all posts
Friday, June 30, 2023
THE CURSE OF THE TOADSTOOL
My foot stepped upon a toadstool, now I feel like a toad,
I have this inclination, to sun myself out in the road,
First I'll eat a couple bugs,
I'll juice them out with tongue hugs,
I'm trying to walk upright, but my legs are just too bowed.
THE STINGING BEES
Stinging bees have such perfect bloodhound powers,
They can find you, even if you take showers,
For all the rest of the day,
I'll be in my tent with a spray,
It's a scent masking spray, that smells like flowers.
Saturday, May 6, 2023
SPRING
Cold rainy weather makes us feel pain called, the cruds,
The arthritis pain, we fight with the suds,
We want mosquitos to bite,
To take our minds off our plight
While spring blooms bust out of their buds.
Thursday, May 4, 2023
THE TRAP ON THE GREEN
My Venus Fly Trap kills the flies,
It even eats the little guys,
It is so sad,
I feel so bad,
I cannot look them in the eyes.
Saturday, April 15, 2023
THE BUG AWAY POWER OF CREAMS
My brother, from the time he was six,
Was crawling with head lice and ticks,
He had bug away power,
By taking a shower,
And anti-itch cream was the fix.
Sunday, March 5, 2023
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, LIMERICK
I saw a pretty butterfly, but it was already dead,
It seems a bird had seen it first, and nibbled off it's head,
But at least I viewed the wings,
All pretty colors, and design things,
So I bought some matching sheets, to be a butterfly in bed.
Saturday, December 31, 2022
WARNING: BUTTERMILK DOES NOT COME FROM BUTTERFLIES
I tried to milk some buttermilk from butterflies who flied,
But I did not get no buttermilk, and all the butterflies died,
Woe is me,
I should have set them free,
At their memorial I cried and cried.
,
Sunday, December 11, 2022
FOUND THE NEXT DAY
Scabies covered nearly all of my skin,
They're itchiness gave me a grimacing grin,
The next day I was found,
I bled out on the ground,
The police said to my next of kin.
Friday, July 8, 2022
STING, SUPER CUTS AND GUTS
Tinker was a little nuts,
He ate only hornet guts,
They made is mouth sting,
And that was his thing,
Along with giving his lawn super cuts.
Friday, June 17, 2022
ODE TO THE FLY
Out on the sofa, I thought I'd take a lie,
But I was bitten by a hungry, biting little fly,
He bit me on my nose, and took a tinkle on my tie,
He buzzed around my toes, and then he waved, goodbye,
So forever I'll be traumatised, until the day I die.
Monday, May 30, 2022
THE ROOF CAVED IN ON MY TRAILER
It's roof has had a big failure, complete,
So it's no going back to the trailer to eat,
I guess I'll be camping outside,
And will have to swallow my pride,
And spray down my whole body with Deet.
Friday, May 13, 2022
TICKS ARE DRINKING MY BLOOD
I have ticks in my garden and they're drinking my blood,
The lack of blood makes me queasy and I fall down and go thud,
It's a mystery to me,
Why, the ticks attack me,
I go swimming so, I'm not covered with crud.
Monday, April 25, 2022
THE PUDDLE WITH THE ARK
I walked in the woods and found a puddle with an ark,
And, floating there all crowed was a big piece of bark,
It held ants, worms and centipedes,
And, insect eggs that looked like seeds,
All waiting the puddle to vanish so their ride could then park.
Tuesday, January 11, 2022
FLIES IN A JAR
For most flies have such little appeal,
Yet, I decided to keep flies in a jar with a seal,
They are comforting pets,
With their appendage sets,
Now, I promote them as pets with a zeal.
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