CUDDLE BUNNIES

I went out strolling with some little Easter Bunnies,

They ate Easter markdown chocolates, and got the Easter runnies,

The sick bunnies made me sad,

Their recovery made me glad,

They all cuddled up next to me, and became my bunny honeys. 

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS

It's the holiday known as "April Fools",

It's the day they close down all the schools,

Daddy locks up his power tools,

Mommy reminds us of house rules,

But puppy, he just farts and drools.

DON'T EAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Mossy the cow ate my Christmas tree,

She knew that I loved it, but she had to spite me,

Mossy had a smile, I a frown,

But I turned them upside down,

For Christmas dinner we had beef, and it was so tasty. 

HAPPY GUY FAWKES DAY, UNLESS YOU'RE MADAM POLLY

Today I took a walk with my ugliest big dolly,

I got her at age two, and named her Madam Polly,

I took her to the glen,

With her doll friends Mike and Ben,

It was November five, Polly paid for Guy's big folly.

THE HALLOWEEN BOO MALT

I put pepper and salt,

In my Halloween malt,

And a dash of sweet pumpkin too,

Along with spider eyes,

And little fat flies,

Makes you ready to burp out a "Boo!".

THE HALLOWEEN DESERT LIMERICK

When my Halloween pumpkin started to smoke,

I put out the fire with my Coke,

With a fork, gave Pumpky a little poke,

Hoped no curse, he will invoke,

Now he's a pie, and that's no joke.

UNHAPPY HALLOWEEN

On every Halloween,

Most ghosts get really mean,

They want only candy, not hugs

They behave like real thugs,

And vampires, they're a worse scene. 

KITTY GOT A SCARE FROM THE ROCKETS RED GLARE

The rockets were red glaring,

And my kitty got a scarring,

The booms shook my shack,

It collapsed, I want it back,

I'd have to say the fireworks, were a little overbearing.

TEN TIMES PLUS THRICE

I'm afraid I feel not nice,

Because my hair has a load of lice,

I bought lice poo; paid big price,

Poo not work; shaved head; ate rice,

I've now had lice ten times plus thrice.

Toad Master

It's Friday the 13th, and my pie is without mode,

The anti-angel angel upon waves of lava rode,

From the dark web depths, where he'd been writing code,

Came the anti-angel angel with the reward we all sowed,

He made us all low classmates, subservient to the toad.

YOU CAN ALWAYS BE A GARDEN GNOME, IF YOU NEED A JOB

I was told I was a really bad, bad bad, boy,

That's why on Christmas I did 't get one darn toy,

So I ran away from home,

Became a garden gnome,

Now scarring away little bunnies gives me joy, joy, joy!

SANTA HAD A BARBEQUE ON CHRISTMAS EVE

Santa's sleigh was made of hydrogen, which put the sleigh in flight,

Santa's reindeer were gas balloons, that helped Santa's sleigh gain height,

Once Santa had a shiver,

Freezing lungs, kidneys and liver,

So Santa lit up his long pipe, and Santa's sleigh went burning bright.

MOM AND DAD TOOK MY PRESENT I GOT FROM SANTA LIMERICK

Santa left a present, but I don't think it is mine,

It is 15 gallons of spiced rum, but I am only 9,

I gave some to my dog Duke,

It made him gag then made him puke,

Then mom and dad took the rest and said it was divine.

SINKING DOWN ON CHRISTMAS EVE

It's Christmas Eve and I'm heading home from work,🚲

I got hit by a speeder and man, what a jerk,💩

He sped off, didn't stay,🚐

Leaving me sinking away,😠

In a ditch full of mud, crud and murk.🐊🐍🦀🦂🐙

SICK REINDEER AND DICK THE MOOSE

The little reindeer could not make the trip,

Flying in front of Santa's! ship,

The little reindeer called in sick,

Replaced by a moose named Dick,

While the reindeer gave tea the sip.

SANTA'S HAVING VENISON FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER

If I were Santa I'd buy some sheep,

Because reindeer are to costly to keep,

Of course, magic flying sheepy,

Might sound kind of creepy,

And chopping reindeer into venison, will make Santa's elves weep.

PORCH PIRATES RUINED CHRISTMAS

Porch pirates, porch pirates what have you done?

You've ruined the Christmas for almost everyone,

You've stolen our cheer,

For those presents were dear,

A day just sitting with family is not fun.

I YELLED AT MY PUPPY QUEEN, THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN

It's the day after Halloween,

And, I am feeling so unclean,

I ate so much candy, I split my spleen,

The sugar high made me mean, 

I yelled at my puppy, Queen,

The toilet bowl is now my scene,

Where I lose candy and turn grass green.