BROKE BEAK PENGUIN

My penguin Ben came home with a broke beak,

He had a big fight with his cousin named Zeek,

They fought over a dead fish,

Ben said came from his tin dish,

My penguin Ben said his coz was a sneak.

ITCHY RICHEY AND MY KITTY

I  had this fish, his name was Richie,

He complained that he was itchy,

The cat offered a claw,

Gave Ritchie a naw,

Now my Ritchie is really twitchy. 

THE PLANT SPIRIT

I just met the ghost of a red daffodil,

It use to live way up on this hill,

But a chipmunk, who was rude,

Thought the daffodil was food,

The daffodils' spirit wanders the hill still.

TRY NOT TO SLEEP SO MUCH THIS YEAR

Try not to sleep so much this year,
For each hour you snore you're end draws near,
Better stay mostly awake,
All the awake you can take,
For at the end awake time is dear.  

THE EATER OF BUGS LIMERICK

There was a praying mantis named Sid,
Now old Sid stayed perfectly hid,
When a bug came along,
It had sung it's last song,
Then, Sid could feed his mom, wife and kid.

FOUR LITTLE QUARTERS: MY SAVINGS AND CRAVINGS

Four little quarters I dropped into my coin bank,
They jingled and rattled while to the bottom they sank,
They were my life's savings,
I spent the rest on my cravings,
I always ate out, went to sports bars and drank.

WHAT CREPT UP ED'S NOSE? III

From an alien world the entity came,
It crawled up Ed's nose to feed, oh shame,
Then, from this alien scorn,
Many babies were born,
Vicious carnivores that no one could tame.

THE BABOON ROMANTIC LIMERICK

Henry was a baboon,
He just loved most of all the new moon,
His girlfriend Nancy,
For Hank had a fancy,
They would sit in their tree and just spoon.

WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH

When times get rough I eat pinecones,

I check the highway for bleached white bones,

Then I make my cobwebs stew

Though the ingredients are few,

The stew I serve with my acorn flour scones.

I CALENDER COUNT ONLY NICE DAYS

I try to forget every cold, sunless day,

And, it's almost the first day of May,

But, this year I remember just one, 

Warm day with bright sun,

So, the first day of this year it will stay.

A BEAR AND A BIGFOOT WALKED INTO A PUB LIMERICK

A bear and a Bigfoot walked into a pub,
They each ordered a beer and a plate full of grub,
The bear finished his food fast,
The Bigfoot made his food last,
The bear was still hungry because he was a tub.

THE IN-GROWN TOE NAIL

Vic had a toe nail that grew into his toe,
He suffered with pain and all kinds of woe,
He took out a hammer,
Gave a toe a good bammer,
The pain was worse, but how could Vic know?

Vic had an in-grown toe nail,
It hurt and Vic gave a big wail,
His pain was so great,
He cancelled his date,
His girlfriend left; what a sad tale.

BUDDY GOES DITCH DIVING

Buddy got a bad, bad itch,

From wading in a runoff ditch,

I hate to much dwell,

On Buddy's chemical smell,

But it made his eyes go twitch, twitch, twitch.

DECEMBER FULL MOON

It's a happy afternoon,
Under December's big full moon,
We don't have much of day,
It's too cold to care anyway,
The day grows even shorter soon,
That makes saneness seem a loon,

There is plenty more to do,
Though the year is more than through,
The year is slipping all away,
No reliving any day,
For all those passing we will pray,
Though their memories fade away,

As the year comes to a close,
We count our triumphs and our woes,
Our beginning confidence,
All scarred by barbed and razor fence,
Defeat is what keeps us on our toes,
Next year we may enter and not leave,who knows.

I'M FROM PARTS UNKNOWN

The doctor said I was made of parts unknown,

He said I had cartilage where I should have had bone,

My blood was not red,

More a mauve color he said,

And, my heart was a big granite stone.

TEACH + BLEACH = DIRT NAP, NOT BEACH

Politicians I look to all forcefully teach,

You can solve most of your problems with a gallon of bleach,

So, that's what I tried,

Drank their cocktail and died,

Should have just hung out with crowds at the beach.

FLIP THE SHIP

My little, tiny, teeny ship,
Twelve feet of metal and the side had a rip,
I just left the dock,
A wave made my ship rock,
Then over, my ship made a flip. 

SOCIAL MEDIA, I'M NOT ALL THERE

I have been banned from all social media on earth,

All my comments are deleted, from my death back until my birth,

I guess I'll have a munch,

Mostly candy bars for lunch,

I can't gain social media followers, but I increase my girth.

MUSK

I had this friend named Musk,

He had a tooth that stuck out like a tusk,

He drank Ovaltine,

Until his ears turned bright green,

He loved corn🌽, but only the husk,

SKUM, THE RICHEST PERSON ALIVE

Leon Skum was the richest man alive,

He lived in a mansion; his workers lived in a dive,

Leon was very happy,

Making the lives of poor folks crappy,

He would make them so.miserable, that soon they weren't alive.