WATER CONSERVATIVE WITH NO FRIENDS STANDING BY

Joe changes his bath water every 100 days,

That's why next to Joe, no one long standing stays,

Joe did buy brand new cloths,

Perfumed up like a rose,

Joe smelled fine, but soon returned to his sewage smelling ways.

FENDING OFF DISEASE AND BUGS

Varmints come and varmints go,

Some bring lice; some virus woe,

Don't be a dope,

Wash hands soap,

And shower from head to toe.

GROUND HOG HYGIENE

My ground hog felt he'd gain friends and power,

By smelling better after a shower,

Instead of shampoo, he grabbed bleach,

It was a moment to teach,

He smells like a gym pool, instead of a flower.

THE PREENER

My buddy Birdie liked to preen,

Birdie was a preening machine,

No matter what the weather,

Every Birdie feather,

Was pecked free of lice, and then licked clean.

FUZZY, WAS HE, HE'S GONE

There was a fuzzy guy named Randy, 

He left fuzz all over the Candy,

Then Candy got mad,

And made Randy sad,

 With a new beau who showered named, Andy.

SAMMY WORKED ON TEETH, RIP

Sammy use to work on teeth,

Until he married his best friend, Keith,

They honeymoon-snorkeled a coral reef,

While snacking on a can of beef,

Till a great white shark hauled them beneath.

BAD TOOTH DECAY

Sammy had bad tooth decay,

Sammy chewed nuts, anyway,

When Sammy's. tooth fell out,

Sammy gave a pain shout,

At least, a dentist Sammy didn't to pay.

A LIMERICK ABOUT NOEL

Noel's breath smelled like his sweaty toes, 

And that was the very least of his woes,

His spaceships would never fly,

His car batteries would mostly die,

And no one made him noodles shaped like bows.

BUGS HID UP MY NOSE LIMERICK

I washed my hair most every day,

To try to keep the bugs away,

But, they hid up my nose,

Wouldn't budge with a hose,

So, I got them with a bottle of spray.
 

I CAME ACROSS ZOMBIES

I came across zombies who were all eating bugs,

I offered them brains but, I got no bites or head hugs,

I think they were crazy,

Or, just really lazy,

To lazy to wipe drool from their mugs.

THE BUBBLE BATH CURE

When trees start growing between your toes,

And, itchy bushes hang out of your nose,

And, your skin is so dry,

Like crust on a pie,

A bubble bath will end most of your woes.