WHEN THE LAVA CAME FOR ME

I have a volcanic eruption in my yard, 

It's burns my tomato plants, and fries my Swiss chard,

Oh, oh, no, woe is me,

I'm drinking lava tea,

My gut will surely ache, when the lava cools hard.

WE FRY GREENS

I went and picked a bunch of greens,

I fried them crisp with grease and beans,

My family's fat,

My dog and cat,

We eat well, and will never be leans.

PETUNIAS ON EARTH

I journeyed far beyond the planets of Sol,

To find some petunias to pot was my goal,

I found some pretty, bright red,

On a planet called, Fred,

But they like to grow tall on a pole.

DEAD GREENS IN THE LAND CALLED ZOO.

DEAD GREENS IN ZOO MICHIGAN

My garden grew and grew,

Then it was suddenly through,

The frost stopped by,

Made my greens all die,

And it's June in KALAMAZOO.

HEAVY DIRT

I went to buy some potting soil,
But, the bags were heavy and I had to toil,
Then, as the bags bounced in my car,
My car springs went ajar,
Hence, my car's smooth ride is a spoil.

MY RADISHES AND THE YUCKY TASTE OF WORMS

My radishes were all full of worms,
When I salted them the worms made squirms,
But, all went into my soup,
And, after slurping each scoop,
Worms taste yucky my pallet confirms.

THE THREE WISE WATERMELONS?

Three watermelons sat in one garden spot,
They were out in the sun and wow was it hot,
To cool down one used a lotion,
Another moved to the ocean,
The third got skin disease and rind rot.

A POEM FOR ALL SEASONS

When I blow snow,

Away it will go,

I might be paid doe,

To buy a me a hoe,

For the garden, you know,

To keep the weeds low,

To make pickles grow,

So my plants don't feel woe,

Next, tie my shoes with a bow,

And the lawn I must mow,

Then I'll jump in my dingy and row, row, row, row.

COMPOST PILE FIRES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

My compost pile caught fire and burned down my garden shack,
Now when I'm done working I have no place to put tools back,
So, my tools lay in the yard,
Getting rusty, crusty hard.
And, I cannot replace them because the finances I lack.

CHICKEN WIRE IS THE THING

Chicken wire is the thing,

To guard my tulips in the spring,

The rabbit will bite,

But, if the wire is tight,

He'll just bite wire if anything.

BEET THE WORMS

I went down to the rover to wash off my beets,

When I cook beets with butter, they're sought after treats,

But, when I washed off the clay,

I felt such dismay,

The roots were worm homes and worm eats.

THE DROUGHT SURVIVALIST

All my tomato plants died in the drought,
As did the rest of my garden which made a drought rout,
So, with no veggies to eat,
I'll rely now on meat,
And, the crick has gone dry so no trout.

IT SNOWED AND FROZE MY PICKLE BUDS

It snowed and froze my pickle buds,
Now my pickle blossoms are just cruds,
And, it's so late in the season,
This cold spring is a treason,
I'll feel better when I crack open some suds.

SPROUT PRIDE AND THE RABBIT

I was proud of my little bean sprouts,
On media I bragged with my touts,
Then, along came a rabbit,
With a bean sprout eating habit,
Now, my touts are all met with real doubts.