ATTACK OF THE GARDEN PESTS

My lettuce was all covered with nasty, slimy slugs,

My tomatoes were hollowed by chewing beetle bogs, 

My pickles in the weeds,

The birds picked clean of seeds,

And the mice that nibbled my string beans, are common thugs.

WE EAT WHAT DADDY GROWS IN THE GARDEN, NOT

Ben's peppers were an abnormal hot,

They made all his kids noses, run snot,

Kids would not eat them,

They stayed on the stem,

Until they became putrid with rot.

MY FOOD IS COMPLICATED

My peppermint plant wilted and died,

It sat in the sun, I guess it's vitals got fried,

My cabbage got the worms, 

With that I've come to terms,

But, my rhubarb ran to the forest to hide.

IF YOU HAVE A NO DRAIN, IT COULD BE LETHAL

I planted my tomatoes in an old tin pot,

The pot had no drain, so they got the root rot,

My tomato plants went dead,

Cautionary tale, tis said,

Drill some holes in the bottom, dot, dot dot.

THERE'S A POTATOE GROWING IN MY PARASITE INFESTED PANTS

Last fall out in my garden, I got a tater in my cloths,

It made a home in my painter pants, and now it grows and grows,

Guessing the fert, I had lots of maybes,

Turns out taters love dead scabies,

I now have a tater farm, and my painter paints, I sews.

PETUNIAS ON EARTH

I journeyed far beyond the planets of Sol,

To find some petunias to pot was my goal,

I found some pretty, bright red,

On a planet called, Fred,

But they like to grow tall on a pole.