FISHING WITH A FRIGID RUBBER WORM

I catch few fish but, many trees,

I catch logs, and shoes and water lillies,

I blame the rubber worm on my hook, 

Methinks he displays a bad look,

He's frigid and the fish want a tease.

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JIMMY IS NO FISHERMAN

Jimmy used a jitterbug to try to catch a pike,
But, the only thing that Jimmy caught was his older brother Spike,
Jimmy used a silver spoon to try to catch a crappie,
But, the only thing that Jimmy caught was the ear of his old pappy,
Jimmy used a plastic worm to try to catch a bass,
But, the only thing that Jimmy hooked was his cousin's giant mass,
Jimmy used a squirrel-tail to try to catch a trout,
But, the only thing that Jimmy caught was Jimmy's great big snout.     
Now, Jimmy uses a coupon to purchase fish and fries,
Because if Jimmy keeps on fishing then, everybody dies. 

THE DROUGHT SURVIVALIST

All my tomato plants died in the drought,
As did the rest of my garden which made a drought rout,
So, with no veggies to eat,
I'll rely now on meat,
And, the crick has gone dry so no trout.