My porcelain rabbit went to the floor,
It scattered pieces from the TV to the door,
The rabbit had been in grandma's old bookcase,
But, I think I'll not replace,
I'll use the money to buy a pizza, ...toppings four.
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016
GRANDMA'S PORCELAIN RABBIT
Labels:
Art,
Broken Ceramics,
GRANDMA,
HUMOR,
Inherited Stuff,
LIMERICK,
Porcelain Rabbit
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
MY ROSES WERE NOT SO TOUGH
Although they survived the summer covered with blight,
I'm afraid all my roses got frozen last night,
I was so sure they were tough,
And, would survive the weather when rough,
But, my roses gave up to the cold with no fight.
I'm afraid all my roses got frozen last night,
I was so sure they were tough,
And, would survive the weather when rough,
But, my roses gave up to the cold with no fight.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
THE LIMERICK OF THE NASTY TWEETER
When Ron reads tweets about him he gets really mad,
Because, the tweeters who tweet about him tweet him really bad,
But, Ron tweets tweets all the day,
And, has nasty things to say,
If Ron would stop tweeting so much I'd be glad.
Because, the tweeters who tweet about him tweet him really bad,
But, Ron tweets tweets all the day,
And, has nasty things to say,
If Ron would stop tweeting so much I'd be glad.
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIMERICKS,
NASTY TWEETER,
TWEETS
Sunday, October 2, 2016
TOTAL MICHIGAN SEASONS : 2.1
In Michigan you don't get much fall,
Fall is hardly a season at all,
Fall is just a small splinter,
Between summer and winter,
And, the spring season we don't get at all.
Fall is hardly a season at all,
Fall is just a small splinter,
Between summer and winter,
And, the spring season we don't get at all.
Labels:
FALL,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Michigan Seasons,
Seasonal Change,
Spring,
SUMMER,
WINTER
Thursday, September 29, 2016
DRIED BLUEGILL FONDUE
I caught some fish with gills of blue,
I dried and dipped them in fondue,
But, they caused many moans,
Because they were full of bones,
And, their insides were all goo.
I dried and dipped them in fondue,
But, they caused many moans,
Because they were full of bones,
And, their insides were all goo.
Labels:
Bluegills,
Dried Fish,
FISH,
FISH BONES,
Fondue,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Uncleaned Fish
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
THE MUFFLER (FROM RUST TO DUST)
While in my car I heard the worst darn sound,
When my muffler fell and hit the ground,
My muffler had melted to rust,
And, was now mostly just dust,
At least that's all that I found.
When my muffler fell and hit the ground,
My muffler had melted to rust,
And, was now mostly just dust,
At least that's all that I found.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
GETTING A CLEAR TV SIGNAL
My cable picture is pixeled,
My dish picture's all haze,
My antennae big booster,
Boosted my TV with a blaze,
Now, after all of my trouble,
My house lies out in burnt rubble,
It’s a reality show that my neighbors may gaze.
Labels:
ANTENNAE TV,
cable TV,
DISH TV,
house fire,
HUMOR,
irony,
poem,
tv
Saturday, September 3, 2016
HOT APPS AND MY BANJO CAN'T PLAY
My fingers got blown off today,
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.
Labels:
Apps,
cell phone,
Cell Phone Applications,
Cell Phone Dangers,
Hot Apps,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
UKULELE
Friday, August 26, 2016
WHAT'S UNDER THE DOCK?
I went to pull in my boat dock,
I didn't need it cause my boat was in hock,
But, upon wading into the water,
My right foot grew painfully hotter,
For a shark had bit my foot off and sock.
I didn't need it cause my boat was in hock,
But, upon wading into the water,
My right foot grew painfully hotter,
For a shark had bit my foot off and sock.
Labels:
Boat Dock,
Boat In Hock,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
sharks,
sharks in lake michigan
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
MY SISTER GIVES HAIRCUTS
My sister gives haircuts, oh dear, oh dear,
She'll steady her hand for a six pack of beer,
Or, when she gets through,
You'll know nightmares come true,
Unless, away from your reflection you steer.
She'll steady her hand for a six pack of beer,
Or, when she gets through,
You'll know nightmares come true,
Unless, away from your reflection you steer.
Labels:
Bad Haircuts,
Barter,
Beer Payments,
family,
Haircuts,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Sister
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
MY LIFE INSURANCE SALESMAN
A zombie came up to my door,
And, sold me life insurance until I was poor,
He put me in my place,
As he chewed on his own face,
So, I got a second job so I could buy more.
My life insurance policy really paid,
To my wife and her boyfriend's accolade,
Now, my life insurance agent, the zombie,
Works for some company named Crombie,
And, his bite got me into the zombie parade.
And, sold me life insurance until I was poor,
He put me in my place,
As he chewed on his own face,
So, I got a second job so I could buy more.
My life insurance policy really paid,
To my wife and her boyfriend's accolade,
Now, my life insurance agent, the zombie,
Works for some company named Crombie,
And, his bite got me into the zombie parade.
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIFE INSURANCE,
Life Insurance Salesman,
LIMERICK,
zombie,
Zombie Parade
Monday, August 22, 2016
A HALLOWEEN TREAT IN AUGUST
It was an August drought and the earth was frying,
All around my home the plants were dying,
Then, under my bed I found a treat,
A Halloween candy was there to eat,
It was still sweet after ten months lying.
All around my home the plants were dying,
Then, under my bed I found a treat,
A Halloween candy was there to eat,
It was still sweet after ten months lying.
Labels:
August,
Drought,
HALLOWEEN,
Halloween Candy,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Whats under a bed
Saturday, August 20, 2016
LAWN NEEDLES AND LOVERS OF PAIN
It rained on the lawn but it didn't do much good,
The grass was so dry that like hard needles it stood,
So, to walk on with bare feet,
Means you find pain a treat,
And, would walk on fire ants if you could.
The grass was so dry that like hard needles it stood,
So, to walk on with bare feet,
Means you find pain a treat,
And, would walk on fire ants if you could.
Friday, August 19, 2016
THE TOOL SHED, TRAILER AND FIRE
In the back tool shed the generator ran,
To keep going my trailer's air conditioner and fan,
But, due to a fault in a wire,
My tool shed caught fire,
Now, my trailer is just an old hot tin can.
To keep going my trailer's air conditioner and fan,
But, due to a fault in a wire,
My tool shed caught fire,
Now, my trailer is just an old hot tin can.
Labels:
AIR CONDITIONER,
Electric Generator,
Fan,
Hot Days,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Tool Shed
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
THE DROUGHT SURVIVALIST
All my tomato plants died in the drought,
As did the rest of my garden which made a drought rout,
So, with no veggies to eat,
I'll rely now on meat,
And, the crick has gone dry so no trout.
As did the rest of my garden which made a drought rout,
So, with no veggies to eat,
I'll rely now on meat,
And, the crick has gone dry so no trout.
Monday, August 15, 2016
CLARITY OF MIND
Today I had a "clarity of mind,"
I realized that I was in a real bind,
My taxes were due,
My insurances too,
And, no money could I find.
I realized that I was in a real bind,
My taxes were due,
My insurances too,
And, no money could I find.
Labels:
Bills,
BROKE,
Financial Bind,
HUMOR,
insurance,
LIMERICK,
Personal Finance,
TAXES
Saturday, August 13, 2016
BOWLING FOR BEERS AND ROMANCE
My buds and I went romance trolling,
To places that had cold beers and bowling,
But, after ten gutter balls,
And, getting embarrassing cat calls,
Towards home alone I went strolling.
To places that had cold beers and bowling,
But, after ten gutter balls,
And, getting embarrassing cat calls,
Towards home alone I went strolling.
Labels:
Bowling,
Cat Calls,
Gutter balls,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Trolling For Romance
Friday, August 12, 2016
A DAY ON THE LAWN
My riding mower got stuck in a rut,
My push mower wouldn't even put-put,
My weed whacker rolled over with a wheeze,
The only thing it whacked were my arthritic knees.
My push mower wouldn't even put-put,
My weed whacker rolled over with a wheeze,
The only thing it whacked were my arthritic knees.
Labels:
Cutting Lawns,
HUMOR,
irony,
Lawn Care,
lawnmower,
poem,
Push Mower,
Trimming Lawns,
weed whacker
I SMELL A LITTER BOX
I have the laziest cat in my dwelling,
Lately, his litter box has been smelling,
I told my cat to clean it out,
But, he just cracked open another stout,
Then, said that if I didn't clean it out he was telling.
Lately, his litter box has been smelling,
I told my cat to clean it out,
But, he just cracked open another stout,
Then, said that if I didn't clean it out he was telling.
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
litter box,
Pet Cat,
Smelly Home,
Stout Beer
Thursday, August 11, 2016
DON'T BLOG BAD FACTS ABOUT SANTA
There were some bloggers on the net,
Who found some facts that many regret,
Regarding a violent Santa Claus,
Who got divorced for just cause,
Now, all Santa's fans are upset.
Labels:
CHRISTMAS SATIRE,
DIVORCE,
Domestic Satire,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Santa Facts,
Spouse Of Santa,
Violent Santa
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